I'm Not Dead (But the Humans Are)

Hi.

Is anyone out there?

It feels a little awkward to be blogging after such a long hiatus. Then again, with a readership of three, does it really matter?

Since it would take nothing short of a miracle to finish recounting my New Zealand trip in gory detail, let's just pretend the rest of the trip didn't happen and begin anew with a Reader's Digest version of some highlights of my life since May.

Because my life tends to revolve around Ultimate, I'll start there. After losing in fall league finals last year, my B league team were finally crowned champions of spring league this year. In case you couldn't tell, we're kind of a big deal now.

Following spring league, my Wildwood team went on to demonstrate our frisbee prowess on sand by winning one of the 2-2 beer brackets. In full disclosure, we probably spent more time celebrating our victory (as shown by the multitude of photographs on Facebook that captured us taking turns drinking beer out of our trophy as if it were a golden chalice) than actually playing the finals game, which ended prematurely when it started to rain and our opponent decided they didn't want to get wet.

Celebratory drink

In the world of high stakes Ultimate, my club team, BRDM, seeded 12th out of 16 going into Regionals, fought our way to the second day, placing 6th overall. That didn't get us to Nationals, but it was a good showing in a region that has grown considerably stronger since the previous year. This is evidenced by the impressive performance of two teams from our region - Axis of C'ville who won mixed Nationals and Amp who took 5th place.

A lot has been happened outside of Ultimate as well. Most notably, I welcomed a new niece into the world on September 17. Like her older sister (Ella) and auntie (me) before her, little Lola came out with a full head of hair and a hearty yowl. And like her older sister (Ella) and auntie (me), she is also irresistibly cute and utterly adorable. I am not at all biased when I say this. But don't take my word for it. See for yourself:

Presenting Lola!

In other news, I turned 21 for the fifth time last month. I also recently passed my two year mark at my job. I celebrated this milestone by replenishing my stock of post-it notes and sniffing some sharpies in the dark recesses of my windowless cave of an office. I'm really living it up as a white-collar professional here.

A couple of weekends ago, Deb came to visit and we revived our old college tradition of doing a Halloween costume together. The last time we followed tradition was [gasp] seven years ago! (Holy crap, we're old.) This year, we went as robots in the Flight of the Conchords' "Robot Song (The Humans are Dead)" video.

We like to do the robo-boogie

We did not realize until after we arrived at our Halloween party destination that eating and drinking while in costume was not feasible as our arms were unable to maneuver around the boxes and reach our mouths. Our distress was soon alleviated, however, when the hosts of the party - who were dressed as Phil and Lil from the Rugrats - offered Deb and me baby bottles from which we could drink our beverages. It was all good until the Red Queen from Alice in Wonderland (a.k.a. drunk Paul P.) showed up and exploited this vulnerability by squirting whipped cream on my face. In my feeble attempts to defend myself, I ended up just frantically waving my shortened arms in circles and squealing like a newborn babe while he howled in delight. It was not the most dignified of moments.

To wrap up this entry, I am announcing my next big adventure. I'll be heading down to Patagonia in South America at the end of December with some of the same rascals from the NZ trip. We're still in the midst of planning logistics but details on the trip will come in subsequent blog posts (that's the plan anyway).

Show me some love and leave a comment!

NZ - South Island - Part 3

It has been over two months since I came back from NZ and I have only managed to blog about the first three days of my trip. For those of you who have been sitting on the edge of your seats for the past month (i.e. Jesskwan) and wondering what happened on Days 4 through 17 -- my bad. I hope this entry and those to come are worth the wait.

And without further delay, I continue.

Day 4 was to be the first day of a three-day hike on the Kepler Track, a circular 37 mile trail through Fiordland National Park. We were so eager to get started that we almost missed our opportunity entirely.

NZ fact #5: Overnight hiking in New Zealand generally requires reservations. Outdoor camping along the trails is not permitted. Hikers who intend to trek overnight must stay in huts that are maintained by the park service. And in order to stay in huts, hikers must reserve beds on particular dates. Doing so allows the park service to control the traffic on these trails (a very smart idea).

Popular hikes like the Kepler tend to fill up many months in advance. The track we had originally wanted to do, Milford Track, was fully booked by December. In other words, aside from our flights, the Kepler - once booked - was the only non-flexible scheduled activity on our itinerary.

Travel tip #5: Book early, plan ahead, and don't let Larry fill the gas tank.

We had gone grocery shopping and packed our hiking packs the night before in preparation for an early start. We wanted to be at the trailhead no later than 11am with an ideal start at 9am or 10am for a 6 hour hike on the first day. The drive between Queenstown and the trailhead in Te Anau takes about two hours so we aimed to leave the RV park at 7am.

At a little after 7am everyone was still asleep. Except for Larry. He was raring to go! Before any of the rest of us had registered that it was morning, Larry was already sitting in the driver's seat of the RV with the car keys in the ignition. We got the hint. Sarah and I dragged ourselves out of our bed and converted the area back to the "kitchen." LT hopped into the front passenger seat. Within minutes, we were on our way out of Queenstown.

We left the RV park a little later than planned but we were on schedule to make it to the trailhead long before 11am. Or so we thought. Upon leaving city limits, Larry stopped at the gas station to fuel up for the drive. As Larry got out of the RV, Henry called out to him, "Make sure you get diesel!"

While Larry took care of the fueling, I stumbled into the quickie mart to forage for breakfast. Armed with a vegetable pie and bottle of orange juice, I came back to the RV a little more excited for the day. That is, until I noticed Larry’s grim face. I asked LT what had happened.

“Larry put gasoline in the diesel tank.”

D’oh.

Apparently in the US, diesel is marked by a green handle and has a different shaped nozzle. In NZ, gasoline is marked by a green handle and the nozzles for gas and diesel are the same shape. So Larry, in a rush to fuel up and hit the road, failed to inspect the pumps (even though the diesel pump was clearly marked “diesel” on the handle) and only realized it after he had filled half the tank with gasoline and was paying for it.

It also happened to be early morning on Easter Sunday. The auto mechanic across the road was not open. We didn’t know if it was going to open at all that day. With the help of a gas station employee, we pushed our RV to the side of the quickie mart to figure out what to do next. Instead of forging ahead and taking the risk of having our gas tank blow up, we decided to try calling our RV rental company and nearby mechanics. It seemed like we had picked the worst possible day to become stranded somewhere in need of mechanical help. While Larry made calls, the rest of us distracted ourselves from the thought of missing out on the Kepler Track with postcard writing, games, and quickie mart perusing. Fortunately, after several calls, we were eventually able to get in touch with a mechanic who, for a sizeable chunk of change, agreed to come and remove the gasoline out of our tank. Yay for Dave the mechanic!

Dave from Stewart Motors bailing out some silly tourists

Nearly four hours after we left the RV park, we were finally on our way to Te Anau. We arrived at the trailhead at approximately 1pm. With a long, uphill hike ahead of us and only several hours before dusk, we wasted very little time in hitting the dusty trail.

At the Kepler Track trailhead

Gear tip #1: Do not buy a North Face hydration pack, it sucks. Stick with the trusted brand of Camelbak.

Within the first 15 minutes of hiking, I felt a suspiciously cold wetness on my lower back. I removed my hiking pack to find that my hydration pack had leaked. Fortunately, I caught it early enough that there was still plenty of water in the bladder, and transferred it from the back of my hiking pack to the front pocket.

Aside from the leaky bladder mishap, the rest of the trek went smoothly. The weather was perfect – clear, sunny, and cool. The views at the top near the Luxmore Hut where we were to stay the first night were beautiful. We even made it to the hut before dark, completing the 6 hour trek in 4.5 hours. We hauled ass up that trail.

View right before getting to Luxmore Hut

We were one of the last groups to arrive at Luxmore. Many people had already begun cooking dinner or were already finishing up. We claimed some empty bunk beds, unloaded our packs, and headed for the kitchen.

NZ fact #6: NZ is one of the few remaining places in the world where you can safely drink the fresh water without filtering or boiling it first. It tastes pretty good too.

The huts provide running water, stove burners, and lights in the kitchen area. There are communal bathrooms but no showers. Hikers must supply their own cookware and utensils. LT brought along her camping pot and knife, and we made rice with peppers and onions. Food never tasted so good. We chatted for a little bit, waited for the park ranger to make his little spiel about rules, and then got ready for bed.


To be continued…

NZ - South Island - Part 2

Day 3: We had only a day planned in Queenstown, and being that we were in the "Adventure Capital of the World," we knew we couldn't leave without participating in at least one heart-racing, stomach churning activity.

Queenstown

We spent the early morning walking around town, browsing various outdoor gear and clothing stores, and strolling through an arts and crafts market. By 11am, the boys' patience for shopping had worn thin. Eager to hurl themselves off a cliff, Larry and Henry headed off to a tour booking center to learn more about the myriad of near-death experiences while I waited for LT and Sarah to finish up their souvenir shopping.

At the internet/booking center, we perused a wall of brochures that advertised everything from mountain biking and fly fishing to bungy jumping and canyon swinging. Sarah wanted to go sky diving. Larry and LT wanted to go canyon swinging or bungy jumping. Henry wanted to try paragliding. And what did I want to do? I wanted to check my e-mail.

NZ travel tip #4: Book activities early, at least a day in advance, if possible.

When we inquired about availability, however, there were not enough spots for Larry and LT to go canyon swinging. Sky diving took too much time and it was too windy for paragliding.

"Bummer," I lamented with a small hint of glee.

What was available was the shotover canyon jet boat ride so we signed up for that. What is jet boating, you ask? Why, it's "the world's most exciting boat ride," of course! The Shotover Jet company website provides an amusing, more detailed description:

"From the moment the accelerator hits the floor your adrenaline hits the roof as you speed in mere centimetres of water along the famous Shotover River and deep into the spectacular Shotover River Canyons. ...Rock faces blur in your peripheral vision, the opaque water sprays into myriads of white crystals with every turn, and you grip the hand rail for comfort and reassurance and then let out a whoop of excitement as your driver spins the boat around in its own boat length — wow, you've just experienced the World famous Shotover Jet full 360-degree spin. Hold on tight and enjoy the thrill as you spin and without losing momentum keep speeding along the river."

But wait, there's more!

"The best thing of all… this is actually good for you. Studies have shown a good thrill livens up your system, waking up dormant biochemical pathways that refresh, relieve stress and heal. You experience a sense of euphoria and well being as your brain receives a welcome cocktail of oxygen, sugar, adrenaline, cortisol and endorphins. The result — a natural high that makes you feel great! It’s our own unique and exclusive form of Jet Boat therapy, we call it Thrill Therapy and we've been prescribing it since 1970 — a good healthy dose of adrenaline to get you feeling alive!"

We were too cheap to pay for the "professional" photos taken of us but the photo below is a pretty accurate representation of what we looked like during the world's most exciting boat ride.

I enjoyed jet boating quite a bit. I'm a lazy thrill-seeker. The less I physically have to do to get my adrenaline flowing, the better. And all that jet boating required was for me to wear a smelly rain poncho and sit on my ass for half an hour.

Upon returning to Queenstown, we ate a massive meal at Fergburger (their website is worth a quick peek). While the others each ate half a cow for lunch, I went with the more veggie-friendly but similarly heavy "Bun Laden" -- falafel patties dressed with a lemon yogurt and chipotle chili sauce, lettuce, tomato, red onion, cucumber, avocado, and aioli.


Before food coma could set in, we ambled over to the skyline gondola to check out the scenic viewpoint overlooking Queenstown and go luging - or as Sarah excitedly called it: "lubing." I'm not sure if what Sarah had in mind was the same thing or not; we didn't really want to know (though I'm sure either would have been equally fun).

View at the top

LT wooshing by on the luge!

We ended the day with grocery shopping in preparation for our 3-day hike on the Kepler track the following day.


To be continued...

NZ - South Island - Part 1

On April 7, Henry, LT, Sarah, Larry, and I met up in Los Angeles for our flight to Auckland. Having only had a few hours of sleep the night before, I spent the majority of the twelve hour flight unconscious, waking up only for meals. I attempted to watch "Marley & Me" but fell asleep part way through. If cute puppies and attractive actors couldn't keep me awake, it clearly was not a very good movie. Every time I woke up and looked at the brightly lit screen in front of me, Owen Wilson was busy chasing after a frisky pooch around the house (and I don't mean Jennifer Aniston).

Travel tip #1: During a long flight, if you plan to sleep for several consecutive hours on the plane, do not take your shoes off if you don't want to look like you have softballs for ankles for a good day or two afterward.

When we landed in Auckland, we went through customs where Sarah fretted over whether she should declare the 5-lb bag of almonds and 3-lb container of raisins she brought with her for the trip. We wondered why her bags were so ridiculously heavy, and we naturally drew the conclusion that Sarah didn't think there would be anything to eat in New Zealand so she had to bring her own food.

She did not declare them and went through customs without a problem, but we did lose Larry for a brief while when his bags were whisked away to be inspected (Asians must look sketchier than redheads). When the group reconvened, we ventured over to the domestic terminal to board our flight to Christchurch on the South Island.

Henry, Sarah, Larry, LT, Me

Travel tip #2: If you are checking bags for multiple flights all at once, make sure that after you retrieve your bag from your international flight you do not remove the airline destination tags from that bag before checking it on your connecting flight.

LT inadvertently removed her tags on her hiking pack before placing them on the conveyor belt at the check-in counter, which the airline employee failed to notice. Her bag never made it on our flight to Christchurch, but fortunately, LT sorted it out and her bag was eventually dropped her off at our hotel by the end of the day.

Before heading into the city center, we decided to visit the International Antarctic Centre located right by the airport -- our first sightseeing, touristy experience! LT had always wanted to visit Antarctica and this center touted a "powerful, exciting, and interactive" experience of Antarctica. It sounded promising enough; the center brochure even boasted about the center being voted NZ's best attraction, twice!

Upon seeing the exorbitant admission prices, however, any initial excitement I felt quickly waned. I did not want to pay $48 NZ ($30 USD) to stand in a room and "interact" with snow, wind, and ice. I grew up in the northeast, I know what it's like to feel cold, and I felt no desire to fly half way around the world to pay to be blown around in a wind tunnel.

LT and Larry decided to do it anyway, so Henry, Sarah, and I ate almonds and tossed the frisbee outside while we waited for them. When they came out, we asked them how it was. Let's just say the $48 NZ was better spent on something other than NZ's "best" attraction.

Travel tip #3: Do not bother with the International Antarctic Centre in Christchurch. Eat almonds and toss the frisbee instead if given the option.

NZ fact #1: Christchurch is the largest city on the South Island with a population of approximately 600,000.

Our plan was to spend the day touring the city before picking up our RV the next day. After lunch, we visited a cathedral, checked out an arts center, walked through a botanic garden, and then took a bus out of the city to ride a gondola up to a very scenic overlook.

View at the top of the gondola

By late afternoon, jet lag started to hit me big time. The urge to sleep was trumped only by the desire to eat, so we dined at an excellent Indian restaurant in town before retreating to our accommodations. I fell asleep as soon as I climbed into bed at 9pm.

Day 2: At around 6am, Henry decided he wanted to go for a run and he made sure we were all up to join him. So all of us except for Larry jogged to the botanic garden where Sarah led us with a killer quad/hamstring workout. I'm not sure why we were so zealous about working out on vacation, but we ended up doing a gazillion sets of lunges, star jumps, squats, push ups, and tricep dips. Little did I know then that I would be crippled for two days after that workout, right for the start of the hardest multi-day hike of our trip!

After showering and grabbing breakfast at Joe's Garage, we called a cab to the RV company where we picked up our sweet RV. While the guys worked out the contract details in the office, the ladies took a tour of our home for the next two weeks.

We present to you, our RV!

And then we were off! As we zipped along in our RV, we saw many sheep and cows dotting the rural landscape.

NZ fact #2: NZ has a human population of approximately 4 million.

NZ fact #3: NZ has a sheep population of approximately 40 million.

There were sheep and more sheep, cows and more cows, and then... deer? What the heck? I thought I was seeing imaginary deer by the side of the road. Turns out, they were not so imaginary.

NZ fact #4: Deer are not native to NZ. They were introduced - along with many other non-native animal and plant species - back in the 1950s. Currently, NZ is a large exporter of venison to European countries like Germany.

We made it to our first natural wonders attraction just before dusk - the Moeraki Boulders - which are unusually large and spherical rocks on a beach.

Some Moeraki Boulders

After scrambling up the boulders and snapping some photos, we continued on our merry way to Queenstown, a place known for where adrenaline junkies get their fix of heart-stopping thrills.



To be continued...

Prelude to Kiwi Adventures

I have somehow failed to post any entries in April. I suppose that I'm no longer the dedicated blogger that I used to be.

Okay, who am I kidding, I was never a prolific blogger, but at least for the month of April, I had a good excuse for not posting. One reason being Fools Fest (organizing and attending) and the other being that I was in New Zealand for two and a half weeks.

Fools Fest - a reunion tournament for Whiptail alums - was a blast. The weather was shockingly pleasant (for that time of year) and our team had the good fortune of first round byes for the first two days. Never mind that we did not win a single game or that the alum jerseys that we ordered never showed up. We were the hottest losers there even without matching shirts! And unlike the Trouble in Vegas debacle where the alum team was the only women's team at the tournament, we actually had the opportunity to play other women's teams at Fools, which was a huge step up for us. In true Whiptail fashion, it was a weekend filled with lap dances, booze, and hot girls like your mom. Oh, and ultimate.

And a mere 36 hours after the tournament, I boarded the first of four flights to embark on an epic 17-day adventure in the faraway magical land of kiwi people, kiwi birds, and kiwi fruit (of two varieties!). Where there are ultimate players and an RV, how can there not be adventure? Or at least a good story or two?

Kayaking, hiking, gondola-riding, weka-bird chasing, luging (or "lubing" as Sarah mistakenly likes to call it), elbow-licking, sleep-yelling, and double dessert eating and push up challenges were some of the more memorable events of the trip. This post is a just a taste of what's to come, so stay tuned!

Only in Australia...

Australian Wrestles Kangaroo From Family Home
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

CANBERRA, Australia (AP) -- When a dark intruder smashed through his bedroom window and repeatedly bounced on his bed, Beat Ettlin at first was relieved to discover it was a kangaroo. ''My initial thought when I was half awake was, 'It's a lunatic ninja coming through the window,''' the 42-year-old told The Associated Press on Monday. ''It seems about as likely as a kangaroo breaking in.''

But his relief was short-lived. As Ettlin cowered beneath the sheets with his wife and 9-year-old daughter at 2 a.m. Sunday, the frantic kangaroo bounded into the bedroom of his 10-year-old son Leighton Beman, who screamed, ''There's a 'roo in my room!''

''I thought, 'This can be really dangerous for the whole family now,''' Ettlin said.

The ordeal played out over a few minutes in the family's house in Garran, an upmarket suburb in the leafy national capital of Canberra.

Ettlin, a chef originally from the Swiss city of Stans, said he jumped the 90 pound (40 kilogram) marsupial from behind and pinned it to the floor. He grabbed it in a headlock and wrestled the trashing and bleeding intruder into a hallway, toward the front door.

He used a single, fumbling hand to open the front door and shoved the kangaroo into the night.

''I had just my Bonds undies on. I felt vulnerable,'' he said, referring to a popular Australian underwear brand.

The kangaroo, which Ettlin said was around his height, 5 foot 9 inches (176 centimeters), left claw gouges in the wooden frame of the master bed and a trail of blood through the house. The animal was cut when it came crashing through the bedroom window.

Ettlin, who had scratch marks on his leg and buttocks and was left wearing only his shredded underpants, described himself as ''lucky.''

The kangaroo vanished into a nearby forest from where it likely came. Wildlife authorities confirmed Monday they had received a phone call saying an injured kangaroo had entered the caller's home and left.

Greg Baxter, a Queensland University lecturer on Australian native animals, said kangaroos rarely invade homes but have done so in the past when panicked.

''It is very unusual, but when kangaroos become panicked, they lose all sense of caution and just fly for where they think they can get away,'' Baxter said.

Eastern gray kangaroos are common around Canberra's forested urban fringe. They are so numerous at one defense department site in the city that officials want to cull hundreds of the animals to stop them ruining the habitat.

Although it had been a harrowing experience, Ettlin's wife could see the funny side.

''I think he's a hero: a hero in Bonds undies,'' Verity Beman, 39, said of her husband.

The Best Job in the World

Why I heart Australia, reason # 317:

Australia is going to pay one lucky individual $100,000 (USD) to laze around Hamilton Island (up in Queensland) for six months and blog about his/her experience to promote the tourist destination on the web. Check out the article.

The application deadline is Feb 22, and the job begins on July 1. Check out the website for more details.

Who wants to help me put together an application??