In Patagonia - Part 1

Five friends and I recently returned from 16 days in Patagonia, a region encompassing Argentina and Chile in South America, where we spent the majority of our time hiking. And when we weren't hiking, we were generally in a car or airplane, driving or flying somewhere to go hiking. That last sentence pretty much sums up our trip, which if you have seen my photos, you would know that it was spectacular trekking, but without additional details it makes for - god forbid - a boring blog entry.

At the risk of sounding boring, I will also disclose from the start that there were no major mishaps - say, ill-fated run-ins with a puma – to report. Frankly, I am a bit disappointed by our puma-less experience. Truth be told, prior to the trip I had no idea that pumas existed in Patagonia, but once I made this discovery, all I wanted was to see one. My enthusiasm (and deluded optimism) was unwavering. On several occasions on our hikes, we’d come across some scat on the trail. And while Brent, our expert scatologist, would carefully examine it to determine the animal from which it came, I would, nary a look, declare with aplomb: “That, my friends, is puma shit! We’ll see one any minute now!”

Alas, that elusive puma never materialized. Instead, our encounters with exciting wildlife included: ducks; wood peckers; flamingos bathing in small ponds; guanacos grazing on the side of the road; smelly Magellan and Gen-too penguins; and an alarmingly large and orange land-crustacean (see below - Sarah had the pleasure of making its acquaintance).


During the 16 days of travel, there was also no Road Rules-esque drama within the group, unless you count an incident of bed cover stealing that culminated in a brief confrontation between Ziff and Sarah on the second night of the trip.

Picture this: After Sarah tugs away the blanket that she is sharing with Ziff, Ziff bolts upright in bed and exclaims, "BRRRR!" (Yes, she actually said “brrr.”) Startled, Sarah turns to Ziff and gasps, "You scared me!" After a moment of silence, Ziff mutters an apology and falls back asleep (Sarah had no recollection of the interaction the next morning). All the while, having been woken up by the commotion, I quietly congratulated myself for having a single bed to myself that night. End scene.

Needless to say, our trip never would have landed us on any reality TV show unless the premise happened to be "pleasant and attractive people travel together and remain polite to each other the entire time." This is not to say that the trip was mishap free. In fact, minor setbacks, inconveniences, and brief episodes of embarrassment were not few in number, and collectively, included the following:

1. A missed flight to Buenos Aires and temporarily lost luggage resulting in a one day delayed arrival
Lesson learned: Don’t book a connecting flight with only an hour stopover in between, particularly during the winter season, because pesky snowstorms and mechanical problems can cause delays.

2. A booked flight for the wrong date
Lesson learned: Double check dates before you click the “buy” button.

3. Nearly losing a passport at the airport
Lesson learned: Treat your passport as if it were your child – don’t leave it out of your sight!

4. A stolen digital camera and Sudoku puzzle book
Lesson learned: Don’t leave valuables in the front pocket of your checked luggage and don’t forget to check around your seat for your belongings before you de-board the plane.

5. A 12 hour food illness that involved frequent vomiting and sprints to public bathrooms
Lesson learned: This was just a bummer.

6. A sprained ankle
Lesson learned: Do not be hasty while navigating rocky terrain.

7. Being drugged into unconsciousness on a boat tour
Lesson learned: Be wary of accepting unidentified pills from strangers even if they are your tour guide.

8. A leaky therma-rest
Lesson learned: Don’t buy used therma-rests at attic sales without thoroughly trying it out first. A deep discount does not a good purchase make.

9. A lost contact lens
Lesson learned: Do not attempt to put in contact lenses outside when it’s windy. Do this while inside your tent.

10. Indecent public exposure while peeing in the "woods”
Lesson learned: If you can see them, they can see you.

11. Inadvertent ingestion of a cow testicle
Lesson learned: If it looks like a testicle, it probably is one.

12. Confusing soap (“jabon”) and ham (“jamon”) in Spanish while ordering in a restaurant
Lesson learned: Soap is not a typical ingredient in pasta dishes.

More insightful entries on Patagonia to come...