I had a rough weekend battling a sore throat, cough, and congested snottiness. It was no surprise that I did not want to get out of the nest of my bed this morning to go to work.
When I finally lumbered into the bathroom to get ready, I looked in the mirror and experienced a Tom-Hanks-BIG moment. Who - or WHAT - was that staring back at me? My right eye was distinctly smaller than the other, weepy, and bloodshot. I looked like a demonic troll. It was not a good start to the day.
After dilly-dallying, I finally left the house and arrived at work just shy of 9:30am. My officemate took the day off so I had the whole room to myself. Throughout the day, I kept to myself and limited any in-person interactions as much as possible.
At around 2:30pm, my sister called to see how I was faring. I described my eye condition to her and she had a fit, putting the both of us into crisis mode.
"Conjunctivitis! That is pink eye! You must RUN TO THE DOCTOR RIGHT NOW!!!!!" she screamed into the phone, "Do you hear me? CON-JUNC-TIV-ITIS!!!"
One of my co-workers just happened to walk into my office at that very moment. I frantically tried to lower the volume on my cell phone and shield my fang-baring face from her.
"Are you okay?" she asked with a tinge of pity in her voice.
"Oh. Um, yeah, I'm... congested," I sputtered.
I put the phone back to my ear and my sister was still yelling about conjunctivitis, "It's highly contagious!!!!"
"Listen, you don't know that I have conjunctivitis," I hissed into the phone. I gave my colleague an apologetic look, who upon hearing "conjunctivitis" immediately jetted out of the room.
"You have to go see the doctor. RIGHT NOW."
"Look, before I trek all the way to the doctor's office, I'm going to make sure I need to see someone about it first," I said before hanging up.
I then called my health insurance provider and waited to speak to a nurse. I described my symptoms and expressed my concern about the possibility of having pink eye. The nurse was calm (unlike a certain sibling that I know) and asked me a series of questions about my troll eye.
"Is the discharge clear or green or yellow?"
"Clear."
"Is your eye swollen? As in, have people looked at you and said, 'Oh my god, what happened to you?!'"
"Um. No? I mean, it's slightly smaller than the other but not so much that it has caused alarm in my office."
"Does it hurt?"
"Not really. It feels a bit itchy."
"Does it feel like you have something in your eye or do you have trouble seeing because of cloudiness?"
"No. The film I feel on my eye seems to go away after I blink a few times."
"How is your immune system?"
This is where I felt like I was being asked a trick question.
"Um... bad?"
"What I meant was that do you have H.I.V. or cancer?"
"Oh, no."
"Have you had any unusual vaginal discharge?"
Uncomfortable silence. Where was she going with this?
"Um... No. Not unusual??"
Thank god my office mate wasn't in that day.
"I ask because conjunctivitis may be a symptom of chlamydia."
"Oh. Right. I don't think I have that."
And on and on. The nurse finally concluded that I likely did not have pink eye but suggested that I engage in some OCD hand-washing for the rest of the week. I got off the phone ECSTATIC not only because I probably didn't have pink eye but also because I did not have HIV, cancer, or an STD. But I left the office and went home early anyway.
What will tomorrow bring? I can't wait to find out...
Monday, December 03, 2007
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Getting Lucky with Tegan and Sara
On Thanksgiving eve, I found out that Tegan and Sara were playing at the Lisner Auditorium over the weekend in DC, but when I inquired about available tickets, the show was completely sold out. Boo.
Instead of conceding defeat, I looked on Craigslist for extra tickets the next day. I found several listings for single and pairs of unwanted tickets for sale and e-mailed all of them. One woman with a pair of tickets responded almost immediately.
My second dilemma then became finding someone to go to the concert with me. Most people were out of town or busy; others I assumed wouldn't like angry girl indie alternative acoustic pop rock. I got mildly desperate and made a half-hearted attempt to coax Indhu to return from West Virginia a day early, but she gave some lame excuse about wanting to spend time with her family.
So I responded to the Craigslist woman asking if she'd be willing to part with just one ticket. She snubbed me by not replying. Blast! I was thwarted once again. But then some guy e-mailed me saying he had one single ticket still available.
My third dilemma was then to decide whether I should go alone. Some people don't mind, and in fact, might even enjoy doing things alone. I am not one of those people - except for when it comes to going to the bathroom. Despite the prevailing gender stereotype, I do not like going to a bathroom in a herd.
But I digress.
It was Saturday morning, the day of the concert, and I had nearly given up on the idea of going at all when I saw that Nick was on Gmail chat. On a whim, I asked if he wasn't interested in going to a concert with me that night, was he?
"What kind of music is it?" he asked.
"Oh, music you probably wouldn't like," I replied.
"Well, who is it?"
"Tegan and Sara."
"Who?"
"Exactly."
Five minutes later-
"Sure, I'll go."
"Really?"
"Yeah, I looked them up on their Myspace page. Their music seems good."
So I went back to Craigslist once again to look for two tickets. New listings selling unwanted tickets appeared. One sounded particularly desperate. I put my kick-ass negotiation skills to work and made an offer (2/3 of the face value). The woman accepted and we exchanged a few e-mails to plan the pick-up. In the end, she decided it was easier to drop them off at my house in the early evening. She even showed up on time. Just when I thought it couldn't possibly get any better, she gave me the tickets - for free!
I was stunned. I didn't quite catch why I didn't have to fork over $40; all I heard and remembered was the word "free." So not only did I get free tickets, I got them hand-delivered to my door. It was awesome!
Fast forward a few hours. The concert was fantastic. The Canadian identical twin sisters were very endearing on stage. They even had Nick lovestoned. They played new songs from their new album, old favorites, and a great cover of Rihanna's "Umbrella."
The sisters also claimed to love our nation's capital although what they associate with this place is a little alarming (but not entirely surprising). Tegan (or was it Sara? Damn twins...) told some story of how while they were desperately seeking a place to 'relieve' nausea from a severe hangover, they came across some sketchy drug deal involving cocaine in toothpaste boxes that went down in a McDonald's bathroom. We Americans sure know how to make a lasting impression.
Another highly entertaining moment was when Sara told the audience of how she had found a video on a fan site of a group of fans spanking each other during one of their concerts in Fort Lauderdale. It was so disturbing to her that right before they were about to perform the same song during which the alleged spanking took place, she asked that the house lights get turned on to discourage any potential spanking at this concert. So the lights went on and there was no spanking. We waited until after the show.
Instead of conceding defeat, I looked on Craigslist for extra tickets the next day. I found several listings for single and pairs of unwanted tickets for sale and e-mailed all of them. One woman with a pair of tickets responded almost immediately.
My second dilemma then became finding someone to go to the concert with me. Most people were out of town or busy; others I assumed wouldn't like angry girl indie alternative acoustic pop rock. I got mildly desperate and made a half-hearted attempt to coax Indhu to return from West Virginia a day early, but she gave some lame excuse about wanting to spend time with her family.
So I responded to the Craigslist woman asking if she'd be willing to part with just one ticket. She snubbed me by not replying. Blast! I was thwarted once again. But then some guy e-mailed me saying he had one single ticket still available.
My third dilemma was then to decide whether I should go alone. Some people don't mind, and in fact, might even enjoy doing things alone. I am not one of those people - except for when it comes to going to the bathroom. Despite the prevailing gender stereotype, I do not like going to a bathroom in a herd.
But I digress.
It was Saturday morning, the day of the concert, and I had nearly given up on the idea of going at all when I saw that Nick was on Gmail chat. On a whim, I asked if he wasn't interested in going to a concert with me that night, was he?
"What kind of music is it?" he asked.
"Oh, music you probably wouldn't like," I replied.
"Well, who is it?"
"Tegan and Sara."
"Who?"
"Exactly."
Five minutes later-
"Sure, I'll go."
"Really?"
"Yeah, I looked them up on their Myspace page. Their music seems good."
So I went back to Craigslist once again to look for two tickets. New listings selling unwanted tickets appeared. One sounded particularly desperate. I put my kick-ass negotiation skills to work and made an offer (2/3 of the face value). The woman accepted and we exchanged a few e-mails to plan the pick-up. In the end, she decided it was easier to drop them off at my house in the early evening. She even showed up on time. Just when I thought it couldn't possibly get any better, she gave me the tickets - for free!
I was stunned. I didn't quite catch why I didn't have to fork over $40; all I heard and remembered was the word "free." So not only did I get free tickets, I got them hand-delivered to my door. It was awesome!
Fast forward a few hours. The concert was fantastic. The Canadian identical twin sisters were very endearing on stage. They even had Nick lovestoned. They played new songs from their new album, old favorites, and a great cover of Rihanna's "Umbrella."
The sisters also claimed to love our nation's capital although what they associate with this place is a little alarming (but not entirely surprising). Tegan (or was it Sara? Damn twins...) told some story of how while they were desperately seeking a place to 'relieve' nausea from a severe hangover, they came across some sketchy drug deal involving cocaine in toothpaste boxes that went down in a McDonald's bathroom. We Americans sure know how to make a lasting impression.
Another highly entertaining moment was when Sara told the audience of how she had found a video on a fan site of a group of fans spanking each other during one of their concerts in Fort Lauderdale. It was so disturbing to her that right before they were about to perform the same song during which the alleged spanking took place, she asked that the house lights get turned on to discourage any potential spanking at this concert. So the lights went on and there was no spanking. We waited until after the show.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
For Halloween, I think I'll be a six year old
For Halloween this year, I decided that I was going to be a chick magnet (i.e. pictures of hot women and baby chickens stuck onto a black outfit). It was my second choice costume; my first was a two-person horse, but Indhu refused to be the back half. Party pooper.
Speaking of parties, the party that I was invited to was this past Saturday night. Earlier that day, I began to piece my costume together. While my family was out having lunch with some friends, I found some trashy gossip magazines around the house, printed out some pictures of baby chickens off the internet, grabbed some of my niece's art supplies, and went to work on the kitchen table.
I first cut out pictures of celerity women and then colored in the black and white baby chick pictures with some of Ella's yellow crayons and color pencils. As I started to cut out the baby chick images, I heard the front door open. I had only expected my brother-in-law to come home after lunch but I heard unfamiliar voices trailing behind him.
He walked into the kitchen followed by four people I had not met before. Already embarrassed that I was still in my pajamas, I shyly said hello. They smiled at me and glanced at the kitchen table at what I was doing. As discreetly as I could, I started to sweep the pictures of scantily clad women underneath a pile of magazines with my hand. I figured that the baby chickens looked a lot less scandalous, so I took my pair of scissors and continued to cut those images out while they stood in the kitchen for a tour of the house.
As the tour progressed out into the backyard, one of the guests, an older woman in her sixties, who was the last to head outside, stopped near the table. In an attempt to seem friendly and engage me in conversation she asked, "Are you doing your homework?"
My homework? Do I look like I'm six years old, lady? Granted I had crayons, glue sticks, and pictures of chickens strewn on the table, but still. At that moment, I didn't know which was more mortifying -- the fact that this person thought I was decades younger than I was or the fact that I was caught coloring, an activity more common and acceptable for persons under the age of 10.
It didn't seem any better to explain that I was making a "chick magnet" for my Halloween costume either. This was one of those situations from which I could not extricate myself without some embarrassment on my part, the other party's, or both.
But in the end it was all worth it because hot chicks like Angie and J.Lo were all over me at the party. They must have been drawn to my magnetic personality and irresistible charm. Was it one sexy night, you ask? You bet it was. Just ask your mom.
Speaking of parties, the party that I was invited to was this past Saturday night. Earlier that day, I began to piece my costume together. While my family was out having lunch with some friends, I found some trashy gossip magazines around the house, printed out some pictures of baby chickens off the internet, grabbed some of my niece's art supplies, and went to work on the kitchen table.
I first cut out pictures of celerity women and then colored in the black and white baby chick pictures with some of Ella's yellow crayons and color pencils. As I started to cut out the baby chick images, I heard the front door open. I had only expected my brother-in-law to come home after lunch but I heard unfamiliar voices trailing behind him.
He walked into the kitchen followed by four people I had not met before. Already embarrassed that I was still in my pajamas, I shyly said hello. They smiled at me and glanced at the kitchen table at what I was doing. As discreetly as I could, I started to sweep the pictures of scantily clad women underneath a pile of magazines with my hand. I figured that the baby chickens looked a lot less scandalous, so I took my pair of scissors and continued to cut those images out while they stood in the kitchen for a tour of the house.
As the tour progressed out into the backyard, one of the guests, an older woman in her sixties, who was the last to head outside, stopped near the table. In an attempt to seem friendly and engage me in conversation she asked, "Are you doing your homework?"
My homework? Do I look like I'm six years old, lady? Granted I had crayons, glue sticks, and pictures of chickens strewn on the table, but still. At that moment, I didn't know which was more mortifying -- the fact that this person thought I was decades younger than I was or the fact that I was caught coloring, an activity more common and acceptable for persons under the age of 10.
It didn't seem any better to explain that I was making a "chick magnet" for my Halloween costume either. This was one of those situations from which I could not extricate myself without some embarrassment on my part, the other party's, or both.
But in the end it was all worth it because hot chicks like Angie and J.Lo were all over me at the party. They must have been drawn to my magnetic personality and irresistible charm. Was it one sexy night, you ask? You bet it was. Just ask your mom.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Boo, the Working Stiff
Note the new title of my blog. I'm not bitter. Really.
Because what I am now is a productive member of society and that is because I sit at a desk in my respectable business clothes in a windowless office for nine consecutive hours a day from Monday through Friday and chat on Gmail.
Aside from the intermittent online socializing throughout the day, I do actually work. During my first week, I spent most of it completing several mandatory on-line trainings that included a 2.5 hour sexual harassment awareness training (I almost left out the "harassment" part when I wrote that) and attending meetings. But since then I've been assigned a few projects to keep me busy. My tasks include designing name tags and binder covers, ordering supplies, drafting up work plan documents, and doing online research on emerging lighting technologies. So far this job feels like a glorified internship; I've done similar work in the past as an intern but now I get paid a lot more for it! Hey, I ain't complaining.
The people in the office seem friendly enough, the ones that don't turn their head away and avert eye contact as you pass them in the hall are anyway. I suspect my officemate is a workaholic (even though he adamantly denies it) like many others in this office. People are there when I show up at 9 and they're still at their desks when I head out the door at 6 or later. The other day I asked a couple of my co-workers if they ever leave their offices or if they have a cot and sleeping bag tucked away under their desks. They just laughed and said I'd get used to it. I think I'm in a lot of trouble.
Because what I am now is a productive member of society and that is because I sit at a desk in my respectable business clothes in a windowless office for nine consecutive hours a day from Monday through Friday and chat on Gmail.
Aside from the intermittent online socializing throughout the day, I do actually work. During my first week, I spent most of it completing several mandatory on-line trainings that included a 2.5 hour sexual harassment awareness training (I almost left out the "harassment" part when I wrote that) and attending meetings. But since then I've been assigned a few projects to keep me busy. My tasks include designing name tags and binder covers, ordering supplies, drafting up work plan documents, and doing online research on emerging lighting technologies. So far this job feels like a glorified internship; I've done similar work in the past as an intern but now I get paid a lot more for it! Hey, I ain't complaining.
The people in the office seem friendly enough, the ones that don't turn their head away and avert eye contact as you pass them in the hall are anyway. I suspect my officemate is a workaholic (even though he adamantly denies it) like many others in this office. People are there when I show up at 9 and they're still at their desks when I head out the door at 6 or later. The other day I asked a couple of my co-workers if they ever leave their offices or if they have a cot and sleeping bag tucked away under their desks. They just laughed and said I'd get used to it. I think I'm in a lot of trouble.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
What happened to September?
I somehow missed blogging for the entire month of September! Where did the time go?
From the time of my last post to mid-September, I was busy applying and interviewing for jobs, which felt like a full-time job in of itself. I won't go into the nitty gritty of the process, but I will impart a few helpful interview "don'ts" for future reference:
1. Don't look like a deer caught in headlights, wild-eyed and panicked, on the question of "Why do you want to work for us?" And look interested when you're asked if the work they want you to do sounds interesting even if it makes you want to gouge your eyes out with a blunt pencil.
2. When talking about your qualifications and previous work experience, don't bring up an example that you can't remember in its entirety. For instance --
Interviewer: Describe your grad school course curriculum.
Job Applicant: One of the more interesting courses I took in grad school was cost-benefit analysis. For our final report, we applied the principles we learned to a real world case study. Uh... the case study was a transportation example... uh, about a bus line... in Seattle... um, no... I think it was Colorado... or was it Dallas? And... yeah, we did a cost-benefit analysis on whether to keep the bus line running.
Interviewer: Are you familiar with using spreadsheets and Excel?
Job Applicant: Oh yes! We used Excel quite a bit in our classes, and have you heard of Crystal Ball*? We used that in one of our classes. (*C.B. is an Excel add-in that allows you to perform risk analysis and forecasting)
Interviewer: Actually, we are very familiar with Crystal Ball. What did you do in Crystal Ball?
Job Applicant: Ah, well... (mind goes blank)... we ran, uh, monte carlo analysis, and lots of simulations. And, uh, I remember having to click on a lot of buttons and watch big graphs show up on the screen.
Believe it or not, they were impressed by this.
3. When asked to talk about the current book you're reading, do not say Philip Roth's "Portnoy's Complaint" even if Roth is one of American's great writers. If you are unfamiliar with this book and need further explanation, here's an excerpt, but be forewarned of objectionable and explicit content to follow.
How many times can I say *not* appropriate in a job interview??
So despite all of the interviewing faux-pas I committed along the way, potential employers still actually wanted to hire me. I received three official job offers, one from government and two from the private sector. After much deliberation, I decided not to do the PMF program. I have instead accepted an offer at a consulting firm working on energy efficiency-related projects in downtown DC. It was a difficult decision in many ways, but hopefully the right one for me.
I start my new job this coming Monday. A full-time job with benefits. Crazy. I fought this day for as long as I could but I suppose it's about time that I try being a grown-up. I'm going to give this whole "adulthood" business a year and see how I like it. So for now, good-bye, idle days and hello, working world!
In other news--
I played in Sectionals a few weeks ago and Regionals last weekend up in Massachusetts with The Whole Damn Bus, a combination of alums and current Whiptails, and boy, was that the best time ever! I don't think I've laughed so hard and been so giddy with happiness in a long time. My birthday coincided with Regionals weekend, so I was able to spend it with some of my favorite people in the world.
Yesterday, I underwent oral surgery to remove three wisdom teeth. From taking naps on the couch, drooling excessively and involuntarily on pillows, getting my body pumped full of painkillers, and being only allowed to slurp jello for nourishment, I pretty much have a good idea of what life will be like for me sixty years from now. Yay, old age.
And now you're all caught up.
From the time of my last post to mid-September, I was busy applying and interviewing for jobs, which felt like a full-time job in of itself. I won't go into the nitty gritty of the process, but I will impart a few helpful interview "don'ts" for future reference:
1. Don't look like a deer caught in headlights, wild-eyed and panicked, on the question of "Why do you want to work for us?" And look interested when you're asked if the work they want you to do sounds interesting even if it makes you want to gouge your eyes out with a blunt pencil.
2. When talking about your qualifications and previous work experience, don't bring up an example that you can't remember in its entirety. For instance --
Interviewer: Describe your grad school course curriculum.
Job Applicant: One of the more interesting courses I took in grad school was cost-benefit analysis. For our final report, we applied the principles we learned to a real world case study. Uh... the case study was a transportation example... uh, about a bus line... in Seattle... um, no... I think it was Colorado... or was it Dallas? And... yeah, we did a cost-benefit analysis on whether to keep the bus line running.
Interviewer: Are you familiar with using spreadsheets and Excel?
Job Applicant: Oh yes! We used Excel quite a bit in our classes, and have you heard of Crystal Ball*? We used that in one of our classes. (*C.B. is an Excel add-in that allows you to perform risk analysis and forecasting)
Interviewer: Actually, we are very familiar with Crystal Ball. What did you do in Crystal Ball?
Job Applicant: Ah, well... (mind goes blank)... we ran, uh, monte carlo analysis, and lots of simulations. And, uh, I remember having to click on a lot of buttons and watch big graphs show up on the screen.
Believe it or not, they were impressed by this.
3. When asked to talk about the current book you're reading, do not say Philip Roth's "Portnoy's Complaint" even if Roth is one of American's great writers. If you are unfamiliar with this book and need further explanation, here's an excerpt, but be forewarned of objectionable and explicit content to follow.
"Into whose hole, into what sort of hole, I deposited my final load is entirely a matter for conjecture. It could be that in the end I wound up fucking some dank, odoriferous combination of sopping Italian pubic hair, greasy American buttock and absolutely rank bedsheet." (p. 138)
How many times can I say *not* appropriate in a job interview??
So despite all of the interviewing faux-pas I committed along the way, potential employers still actually wanted to hire me. I received three official job offers, one from government and two from the private sector. After much deliberation, I decided not to do the PMF program. I have instead accepted an offer at a consulting firm working on energy efficiency-related projects in downtown DC. It was a difficult decision in many ways, but hopefully the right one for me.
I start my new job this coming Monday. A full-time job with benefits. Crazy. I fought this day for as long as I could but I suppose it's about time that I try being a grown-up. I'm going to give this whole "adulthood" business a year and see how I like it. So for now, good-bye, idle days and hello, working world!
In other news--
I played in Sectionals a few weeks ago and Regionals last weekend up in Massachusetts with The Whole Damn Bus, a combination of alums and current Whiptails, and boy, was that the best time ever! I don't think I've laughed so hard and been so giddy with happiness in a long time. My birthday coincided with Regionals weekend, so I was able to spend it with some of my favorite people in the world.
Yesterday, I underwent oral surgery to remove three wisdom teeth. From taking naps on the couch, drooling excessively and involuntarily on pillows, getting my body pumped full of painkillers, and being only allowed to slurp jello for nourishment, I pretty much have a good idea of what life will be like for me sixty years from now. Yay, old age.
And now you're all caught up.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
D.C. = Domestic Circus
After many weeks of traveling on the road and living out of a car, I had grown accustomed to having just the bare necessities (which includes my laptop of course). Sleeping on a therm-a-rest in a tent was the norm and upgrading to a motel room with hot showers and a door with a lock was considered a luxury. But now that I'm back in DC at my sister's house, I've been feeling overwhelmed by well, just about everything here.
First, there is so much stuff in this house. Not only do we have every thing you can possibly think of, there are at least twenty of each. It appears as though a neighborhood of houses got jammed together into one and then subsequently threw up on itself. And one fraction of it all is my own. Over the past three years I have accumulated my own stash of junk in the basement, which to my surprise, is a lot. Notebooks, CDs, linens, photos, clothes, books, magazines, and even four rolls of unused toilet paper all sitting in the corner of the storage room collecting dust and cricket poop. I have no idea what to do with it all except to start using the TP.
Second, DC is a sauna. The humidity is particularly unpleasant now after having lived in a dry climate for the past year and a half. Having grown soft, I'd break out in sweat just blinking. I wore jeans one day because I had no other clean laundry and it felt like wearing a wet suit in an oven.
Third, no one has missed me more and welcomed me back to DC more fondly than the Asian tiger mosquitoes. They descend upon you quietly and feed off you inconspicuously until finally you start to itch. By then, the welt on your skin has already swelled to the size of Texas and you can see it start to engulf the remainder of your limb. This act of autophagy is particularly attractive when it occurs on your face.
Fourth, I'm not used to a life of domesticity and routine. A typical day around here involves waking up, taking young child to school, going to work, picking up same child from school, returning home, eating dinner, watching TV, and going to sleep. Rinse and repeat. Why not just beat me senseless with a rolling pin now and get it over with?
Lastly, there is no such thing as a free lunch. Within hours of my arrival, I was enlisted as softball league fill-in player, babysitter, and cleaning lady. Whenever I'm asked to "watch" a softball game, I always end up forced to play. I am an Ultimate player; I do not interact with spherical objects. There's nothing more nerve wracking than when you're trying to bat with thirty pairs of eyes boring holes through your head, half of them silently willing you to miss and the other half willing you not to be the weakest link on the team. And when you actually hit the ball, it's a frantic, panicked sprint to first base. And if you happen to maul the first baseman on the way there, well, that's just part of the game.
Next, does it not strike you, as it did me, that to have a once a year major house cleaning scheduled within a week of my return is more than just mere coincidence?
And just this week, I had one of the more thrilling experiences of my babysitting career when my attempt to put my niece Ella to bed was temporarily thwarted. Near the end of the evening, I tried to lure Ella into her parents' bedroom for some storytelling and reading, but being a precocious five year old whose mental acuity is superior to my own, she saw right through my scheme.
Me: "C'mon, let's go snuggle up and read some books."
Ella: "How about we hang out in a different room away from a bed?"
Me: "But that's not any fun! Oh hey, I haven't seen Mommy and Daddy's room in a really long time! Let's go look at it!" (Ella sleeps with her parents in their bed)
Ella: "I know! Let's go to MY room instead!"
Me: "Why don't we pick out a book and go read it in bed!"
Ella: "I want to read a book to you in my room with all the lights on!"
Sensing that I wasn't going to make any progress, I walked to the master bedroom in hopes of Ella following me. As soon as I walked through the door, I was immediately hit with a god awful stench.
Me: "Oh... my... GOD! What is that SMELL?? Ella, do you SMELL THAT?!"
It was dark and I only had the hallway light to guide me into the front part of the room. I walked to the foot of the bed, gingerly picked up a couple of shirts, and sniffed them. They were not the culprits. Ella walked in behind me and I eyed her suspiciously.
Me: "Ella, do you smell POOP? Ella, did YOU just POOP?!"
Ella: "I did NOT poop!"
Me: "Do you not smell this atrocity???"
Ella: "I don't smell-- Oh, yeah, what is that?"
She walked further into the room to inspect the cause of the stink. As I turned my back to look for the light switch, Ella burst into tears.
Me: "What's wrong!"
Ella: "I... I... just stepped in cat poop! YAAAAAGHHHHH!!!"
Me: "What! Hold on! Don't move!!!"
I turned on the light and lo, and behold, Ella had planted her right foot into a big pile of wet cat turd on the rug. It smeared all over the bottom of her foot and before she could put her foot back down on the floor, I picked her up and ran her into the bathroom. She was hysterical and shrieking with disgust.
Ella: "Eeeeeeek!! Cat poop! Aaaugghhhh! SO GROSS! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!! Yaaaugggghhh!! Get it off! Get it off! GET IT OOOOFFFFFFF!!!!!"
After cleaning her foot and calming her down, I placed Ella on the bed. And while she distracted herself with a book, I inspected the entire room for more cat poop. The cat had taken two dumps on the rug. Two mushy, bloody piles of turd. What on God's earth could he have possibly eaten that day to produce such a monstrosity of an excrement?
I will spare you the details of the clean up. To finish the story, Ella fought sleep as hard as she could but what finally did her in was when I started telling her everything I had done in the past few months on my travels (the same story I will be telling you on this blog). Within five minutes, her eyelids began to flutter. I stopped talking and waited. She jerked her head, turned to me, and said, "Just because my eyes are closed doesn't mean I'm asleep."
So I continued my story and within another minute, she was out cold.
First, there is so much stuff in this house. Not only do we have every thing you can possibly think of, there are at least twenty of each. It appears as though a neighborhood of houses got jammed together into one and then subsequently threw up on itself. And one fraction of it all is my own. Over the past three years I have accumulated my own stash of junk in the basement, which to my surprise, is a lot. Notebooks, CDs, linens, photos, clothes, books, magazines, and even four rolls of unused toilet paper all sitting in the corner of the storage room collecting dust and cricket poop. I have no idea what to do with it all except to start using the TP.
Second, DC is a sauna. The humidity is particularly unpleasant now after having lived in a dry climate for the past year and a half. Having grown soft, I'd break out in sweat just blinking. I wore jeans one day because I had no other clean laundry and it felt like wearing a wet suit in an oven.
Third, no one has missed me more and welcomed me back to DC more fondly than the Asian tiger mosquitoes. They descend upon you quietly and feed off you inconspicuously until finally you start to itch. By then, the welt on your skin has already swelled to the size of Texas and you can see it start to engulf the remainder of your limb. This act of autophagy is particularly attractive when it occurs on your face.
Fourth, I'm not used to a life of domesticity and routine. A typical day around here involves waking up, taking young child to school, going to work, picking up same child from school, returning home, eating dinner, watching TV, and going to sleep. Rinse and repeat. Why not just beat me senseless with a rolling pin now and get it over with?
Lastly, there is no such thing as a free lunch. Within hours of my arrival, I was enlisted as softball league fill-in player, babysitter, and cleaning lady. Whenever I'm asked to "watch" a softball game, I always end up forced to play. I am an Ultimate player; I do not interact with spherical objects. There's nothing more nerve wracking than when you're trying to bat with thirty pairs of eyes boring holes through your head, half of them silently willing you to miss and the other half willing you not to be the weakest link on the team. And when you actually hit the ball, it's a frantic, panicked sprint to first base. And if you happen to maul the first baseman on the way there, well, that's just part of the game.
Next, does it not strike you, as it did me, that to have a once a year major house cleaning scheduled within a week of my return is more than just mere coincidence?
And just this week, I had one of the more thrilling experiences of my babysitting career when my attempt to put my niece Ella to bed was temporarily thwarted. Near the end of the evening, I tried to lure Ella into her parents' bedroom for some storytelling and reading, but being a precocious five year old whose mental acuity is superior to my own, she saw right through my scheme.
Me: "C'mon, let's go snuggle up and read some books."
Ella: "How about we hang out in a different room away from a bed?"
Me: "But that's not any fun! Oh hey, I haven't seen Mommy and Daddy's room in a really long time! Let's go look at it!" (Ella sleeps with her parents in their bed)
Ella: "I know! Let's go to MY room instead!"
Me: "Why don't we pick out a book and go read it in bed!"
Ella: "I want to read a book to you in my room with all the lights on!"
Sensing that I wasn't going to make any progress, I walked to the master bedroom in hopes of Ella following me. As soon as I walked through the door, I was immediately hit with a god awful stench.
Me: "Oh... my... GOD! What is that SMELL?? Ella, do you SMELL THAT?!"
It was dark and I only had the hallway light to guide me into the front part of the room. I walked to the foot of the bed, gingerly picked up a couple of shirts, and sniffed them. They were not the culprits. Ella walked in behind me and I eyed her suspiciously.
Me: "Ella, do you smell POOP? Ella, did YOU just POOP?!"
Ella: "I did NOT poop!"
Me: "Do you not smell this atrocity???"
Ella: "I don't smell-- Oh, yeah, what is that?"
She walked further into the room to inspect the cause of the stink. As I turned my back to look for the light switch, Ella burst into tears.
Me: "What's wrong!"
Ella: "I... I... just stepped in cat poop! YAAAAAGHHHHH!!!"
Me: "What! Hold on! Don't move!!!"
I turned on the light and lo, and behold, Ella had planted her right foot into a big pile of wet cat turd on the rug. It smeared all over the bottom of her foot and before she could put her foot back down on the floor, I picked her up and ran her into the bathroom. She was hysterical and shrieking with disgust.
Ella: "Eeeeeeek!! Cat poop! Aaaugghhhh! SO GROSS! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!! Yaaaugggghhh!! Get it off! Get it off! GET IT OOOOFFFFFFF!!!!!"
After cleaning her foot and calming her down, I placed Ella on the bed. And while she distracted herself with a book, I inspected the entire room for more cat poop. The cat had taken two dumps on the rug. Two mushy, bloody piles of turd. What on God's earth could he have possibly eaten that day to produce such a monstrosity of an excrement?
I will spare you the details of the clean up. To finish the story, Ella fought sleep as hard as she could but what finally did her in was when I started telling her everything I had done in the past few months on my travels (the same story I will be telling you on this blog). Within five minutes, her eyelids began to flutter. I stopped talking and waited. She jerked her head, turned to me, and said, "Just because my eyes are closed doesn't mean I'm asleep."
So I continued my story and within another minute, she was out cold.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas
So Lesley, stop asking me about the prostitutes. If you want that kind of lovin’ you’re going to have to go to Vegas yourself and not expect to live vicariously through me cuz I ain’t telling.At the moment, I am sitting in the Vegas airport, hours before my flight leaves for DC. Now that Lin has left for Minnesota, I must entertain myself. I could buy a book or magazine and actually read something of value for a change but I’m too cheap. But thank the lord for free wi-fi so I can check my e-mail every three seconds! However, because I haven’t received any new emails since the last 347 times I’ve checked, I might as well update my blog.
So let me back up for a second. As you may have gathered from my last post, I am back in the mother land after spending two and a half weeks driving through western and northern Australia in a campervan with Henry. My final days in Oz will get a post of its own – later. As will my Oz road trip with Lin back in January.
But first -- I’ve just completed an eight week trip through California, Colorado, Utah, Arizona, and Nevada, most of it with Lin. The reason I haven’t been blogging this whole time isn’t because I haven’t had any internet access but because, well you know, I’m not disciplined. Blogging used to be a procrastination activity from studying or working on a problem set, but now that I’m on “vacation,” blogging seems to take on more effort than I am willing to exert after a full day of hiking in 90 degree and above weather. But I digress…
Here is the cliff notes version of the last eight weeks. Look for the uncut and uncensored versions in the next week or so…
California:
- Visited Michelle in Pasadena
- Road tripped up to SF via scenic route 1
- Spent time with friends Mary, Val, Kris, and Rahul
- Met up with Lin for hiking and camping in Yosemite, Lake Tahoe, and Redwoods
- Met up with Lin and visited her cousin Larry in Fort Collins
- Participated in a week long environmental service trip clearing trails with Wilderness Volunteers in the Eagles Nest Wilderness area near Breckenridge
- Spent time with Ben, my brother-in-law's brother, in Lyons and Boulder
- Hiked through Maroon Bells, Gunnison National Park, and Mesa Verde
- Hiked in various state and national parks including Arches Nat'l Park, Canyonlands, Valley of the Gods, Capitol Reef Nat'l Park, Natural Bridges, Grand Staircase-Escalante, Kodachrome Basin State Park, Bryce Canyon, and Zion Nat'l Park
- Admired the Grand Canyon from both the North and South Rims
- Ventured briefly to Monument Valley
- Did a drive by of the Hoover Dam
- Went for a quick dip in Lake Mead to cool off
- Gaped at the bright lights in Vegas, stuffed myself silly on buffet, went to a show, and well, that's all I'm gonna say...
Monday, July 09, 2007
#50
As the title of this post suggests, this is my 50th post. Woohoo! Given that I didn't think I'd blog for this long, this calls for some celebration. However, because I'm also a lazy blogger, "celebration" entails only sharing a bunch of random photos and a video (all of which are of the sixth grade toilet humor variety, of course) and asking YOU, the reader, to comment on how much you love me, this blog, and Lesley's mom! I'll be waiting...
A destination in Bangkok.
Indhu peeling a mangosteen a.k.a. the fleshiest, whitest, butt-like fruit EVER. This lewd act was committed in Bangkok.
Mama bear and baby bear toilets found in a stall in Malaysia.
A cartoon depicting what circumcision was like for little Malaysian boys back in the day. Found in the Malaysian National Museum (or some place of that sort).
An airplane barf bag that doubles as an envelope for film developing. Great multi-purpose bag but I wouldn't recommend putting any rolls of film in it after you've used it for motion sickness. Found on a Virgin Blue flight from Adelaide to Perth.
This is new "exercise" equipment for those who want to "ride horses" but are too lazy to ride the real thing. It looks like a toilet with a vibrating seat. I don't know about you but I think I can find at least a million other ways to spend my money than buy one of these. Giddyup!
Oh, and by the way, I'm now in California.
A destination in Bangkok.
Indhu peeling a mangosteen a.k.a. the fleshiest, whitest, butt-like fruit EVER. This lewd act was committed in Bangkok.
Mama bear and baby bear toilets found in a stall in Malaysia.
A cartoon depicting what circumcision was like for little Malaysian boys back in the day. Found in the Malaysian National Museum (or some place of that sort).
An airplane barf bag that doubles as an envelope for film developing. Great multi-purpose bag but I wouldn't recommend putting any rolls of film in it after you've used it for motion sickness. Found on a Virgin Blue flight from Adelaide to Perth.This is new "exercise" equipment for those who want to "ride horses" but are too lazy to ride the real thing. It looks like a toilet with a vibrating seat. I don't know about you but I think I can find at least a million other ways to spend my money than buy one of these. Giddyup!
Oh, and by the way, I'm now in California.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Singapore is a "FINE" city
Two days before the New Year, after Lin joined us in KL, the three of us took an overnight train into Singapore. It was also hot and humid there but unlike all of Malaysia, there was even less to do in Singapore. We spent an entire afternoon at the zoo and then went on a Night Safari. While the zoo during the day was very impressive (we saw polar bears, pumas, cougars, Bengal tigers, lions, elephants, giraffes, apes among a ton of others), I was largely disappointed by the Safari. First of all, the admission price was extremely expensive. Secondly, the line at the Safari was extremely long. Thirdly, being able to see more than just the silhouette of the animals was extremely difficult. Fourth of all, many of the so-called nocturnal animals were still asleep or inert and extremely boring to watch. Have I already mentioned that I was disappointed by the Night Safari? Lin, on the other hand, enjoyed it very much. She can sing its praises on her blog.
We spent the few days in Singapore mostly eating and walking around. I had wanted to visit Singapore because I was fascinated by its “rags to riches” history that occurred in a very short span of time as well as its reputation for strict laws and fines (for example, the ban on chewing gum which was recently overturned) and cleanliness. The city reminded me of Hong Kong with its western influences, trendy fashions, and bustling commercial activity.
As I had been told on several occasions, the main thing to do in Singapore is to shop until your wallet turns inside out, but I found the prices of consumer goods to be far more expensive than that of any other Asian country. Meals, on the other hand, were still reasonable compared to that of American, European or Australian standards, so instead of shopping we ate till our faces turned blue.
Lin slurping dessert
And that’s how we spent our time in Singapore.
AND THAT CONCLUDES MY SOUTH EAST ASIA TRIP! BOO-YA!
We spent the few days in Singapore mostly eating and walking around. I had wanted to visit Singapore because I was fascinated by its “rags to riches” history that occurred in a very short span of time as well as its reputation for strict laws and fines (for example, the ban on chewing gum which was recently overturned) and cleanliness. The city reminded me of Hong Kong with its western influences, trendy fashions, and bustling commercial activity.
As I had been told on several occasions, the main thing to do in Singapore is to shop until your wallet turns inside out, but I found the prices of consumer goods to be far more expensive than that of any other Asian country. Meals, on the other hand, were still reasonable compared to that of American, European or Australian standards, so instead of shopping we ate till our faces turned blue.
Lin slurping dessertAND THAT CONCLUDES MY SOUTH EAST ASIA TRIP! BOO-YA!
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Here’s a tip for those traveling through South East Asia on a shoestring budget: If you fly on Air Asia, a low cost carrier, you should know that this airline does not pre-assign seats. Therefore, expect to be elbowed and shoved around by other passengers jockeying to get on the airplane before you, and in the name of self-preservation, prepare to elbow and shove back. I should have realized that it would be a free-for-all when I saw that my boarding pass didn’t have a seat number, and because other passengers kept trying to cut in front of me in the queue at the check-in counter, I should not have been surprised that this phenomenon would repeat itself at a larger scale during boarding at the gate.
Before boarding, don’t bother to bring a lot of carry-on luggage with you – it’ll just slow you down – unless you know how to wield it to your advantage. It also helps to have young children traveling with you – or at least claim to have young children traveling with you – as you can get priority of first seating. I’ve never seen adults so adamantly associate themselves with wild-haired, sticky-faced midgets before in my life – “Yes, I have children! Lots of them! (While shoving them through the throng of people) Now let me on that plane!!”
As soon as the boarding announcement was made, the masses descended upon and swarmed the two Air Asia employees at the gate. Restoring any semblance of order was futile. All the passengers began to squeeze into each other. I became wedged in the center of the herd and it was so tightly packed, I lost sight of my own arms.
One of the airline employees began to shout, “FORM A SINGLE LINE PLEASE! If you do not get in one line, YOU WILL NOT GET ON THE PLANE!” But everyone turned a deaf ear to his request.
While the airline staff continued to bark orders and make empty threats to little avail, one woman who was standing next to me huffed very loudly, “This is so insulting! They’re treating us like we’re barbarians! Like animals!” All the while she was expressing her disdain, her husband was slyly pushing me aside so he could step in front of me AS IF I couldn’t feel his bony elbow in my abdomen. Any little sympathy I had for her – or anyone else standing there for that matter – quickly dissipated from that point on.
Once I fought my way onto the aircraft I had to overcome the obstacle of finding a seat. People who were there before me had placed clothes, bags, whatever they had on hand on empty seats to save them for others who were still waiting to board. I had to rely on my cat-like reflexes and quickness to plant my butt in an unclaimed seat before someone else threw a handbag on it.
From the frantic chaos that ensued, it was nothing less than a miracle that the plane managed to take off with all its passengers in tow and land at its destination on time. While the flight itself went relatively smoothly I’m still bamboozled by the airline’s dreadful free-for-all seating process. I reckon that you’d be hard pressed to find anyone who actually finds it to be a pleasant experience.
At the Kuala Lumpur airport, it was so oppressively humid when I stepped outside that it felt like someone had smothered my face with a hot, wet towel. It was the kind of weather that put my entire being into a stupor. Just breathing caused me to break out in sweat. As a result, I spent much of my time in Malaysia doing very little but eating quite a lot as Indhu’s grandparents made excellent Indian food.
Highlights of the trip included:
Next (and final) stop – Singapore!
Before boarding, don’t bother to bring a lot of carry-on luggage with you – it’ll just slow you down – unless you know how to wield it to your advantage. It also helps to have young children traveling with you – or at least claim to have young children traveling with you – as you can get priority of first seating. I’ve never seen adults so adamantly associate themselves with wild-haired, sticky-faced midgets before in my life – “Yes, I have children! Lots of them! (While shoving them through the throng of people) Now let me on that plane!!”
As soon as the boarding announcement was made, the masses descended upon and swarmed the two Air Asia employees at the gate. Restoring any semblance of order was futile. All the passengers began to squeeze into each other. I became wedged in the center of the herd and it was so tightly packed, I lost sight of my own arms.
One of the airline employees began to shout, “FORM A SINGLE LINE PLEASE! If you do not get in one line, YOU WILL NOT GET ON THE PLANE!” But everyone turned a deaf ear to his request.
While the airline staff continued to bark orders and make empty threats to little avail, one woman who was standing next to me huffed very loudly, “This is so insulting! They’re treating us like we’re barbarians! Like animals!” All the while she was expressing her disdain, her husband was slyly pushing me aside so he could step in front of me AS IF I couldn’t feel his bony elbow in my abdomen. Any little sympathy I had for her – or anyone else standing there for that matter – quickly dissipated from that point on.
Once I fought my way onto the aircraft I had to overcome the obstacle of finding a seat. People who were there before me had placed clothes, bags, whatever they had on hand on empty seats to save them for others who were still waiting to board. I had to rely on my cat-like reflexes and quickness to plant my butt in an unclaimed seat before someone else threw a handbag on it.
From the frantic chaos that ensued, it was nothing less than a miracle that the plane managed to take off with all its passengers in tow and land at its destination on time. While the flight itself went relatively smoothly I’m still bamboozled by the airline’s dreadful free-for-all seating process. I reckon that you’d be hard pressed to find anyone who actually finds it to be a pleasant experience.
At the Kuala Lumpur airport, it was so oppressively humid when I stepped outside that it felt like someone had smothered my face with a hot, wet towel. It was the kind of weather that put my entire being into a stupor. Just breathing caused me to break out in sweat. As a result, I spent much of my time in Malaysia doing very little but eating quite a lot as Indhu’s grandparents made excellent Indian food.
Highlights of the trip included:
- seeing fireflies at night by small boat outside of the city
- having dinner and catching up with Hani, a good friend of mine from high school whom I hadn’t seen in over five years
- exploring KL and eating great vegetarian food
- going up the KL Tower
- visiting a temple set within a cave
- watching a terrible Malaysian film during which Lin fell asleep because it was so bad
- spending time with Indhu’s grandparents whom I call Grandma and Grandpa.
Next (and final) stop – Singapore!
Monday, June 25, 2007
Trekking in Chiang Dao - Day 2 & 3
After a night of interrupted sleep from crowing roosters and a snoring volume of inhuman magnitude of one who shall remain anonymous, we packed up our things, ate a filling breakfast, and set out for another day of hiking through the mountains.
After an hour or two of hiking through the steep mountain side, we took a break for hot tea and listened to Thai men converse animatedly with each other.
We then explored another cave and paid a short visit to a monk who lives there with his many cats.
Afterwards, our guides prepared a delicious lunch. Instead of carrying bowls and utensils with them, the guides cut bamboo stalks from which they fashioned sturdy bowls and chopsticks for us to use.
In the afternoon, while taking another brief rest, Giles convinced me to engage in some “martial art” choreography with our bamboo walking canes. It was all fun and games until someone (i.e. me) got whacked over the head with a stick. Ouch.
By late afternoon, we hiked to the village where we were to eat dinner and spend the night. Upon setting our bags down in our hut, we walked around to familiarize ourselves with the place and meet some of the villagers.
As we passed by a group of villagers, one of them called out to me. “Hi, my name is Joe.* What’s your name?”
*Not his real name (because I don’t remember what it really is).
Me: “Hi, I’m Christina.”
Joe: “Are you Mary?”
Me: “Um, no. I’m Christina.”
Joe: “Are you Mary?”
Me (really puzzled): “Am I Mary? No… I said I’m… Oh! Am I married? No, I’m not married. (Awkward pause). Are you married?”
Joe: “No.” (intense stare)
Me: “Oh ok. Well, see you later!”
Later that night, after dinner as we were all sitting around the bonfire, I watched our guide Ah-Mi and Joe engaged in what appeared to be a very serious discussion. Finally, Giles asked Ah-Mi what they were talking about.
“Oh, we’re talking about marriage,” Ah-Mi replied with a smirk. Then he asks me, “How old are you?”
When I told him, he gave this look that I interpreted as “What, that old and not married off yet? Must be damaged goods.”
He turned to Joe and said something in Thai. I looked at Joe. He looked at me. I averted eye contact and then stared blankly at the fire. This continued for a while. I tolerated so much awkwardness before I eventually stood up and retired into my hut for the night.
Joe is the dashing male on the right
And what a miserably cold night it turned out to be. I found it impossible to stay warm in my thin sleeping bag despite wearing all the clothes I brought with me plus Henry’s vest. In addition to the cold, all through the night, Henry kept digging into his bag – which was right next to my head – like a squirrel scavenging for nuts in a pile of dead leaves. He claimed the next morning that he was looking for an extra layer to put on but somehow couldn’t find it in the first six attempts.
At one point in the night, I sat up for no good reason. Realizing what I had done, I laid back down and in the process of doing so, I reached out to locate my pillow but found Charlotte’s head instead. Still groggy, I didn’t recognize what it was right away. So for a good ten seconds, I groped Charlotte’s face, confused as to why my pillow was no longer soft and cushiony. Yep, that made some awkward conversation in the morning.
Following breakfast and before we set off again, Joe came by with a plastic bag of hand woven clothes and bags. He said they were made by his sister. Out of guilt, I offered to look at his wares. He sat and watched as I feigned interest in each item I pulled out. In the end, I bought the cheapest thing there was – a small, purple shoulder bag. I felt like I was buying myself out of a marriage deal. (This special bag has since been sent to a very lucky person for her belated birthday.)
We were told by the guides that our third day was to be the easiest – a short walk to a pick-up point followed by an elephant ride and bamboo rafting. But that “short walk” turned out to be a forty-five minute uphill steep climb. My body was both burning from exertion and drenched in cold sweat. If I hadn’t had Henry to talk to on the hike to distract me, I probably would have wanted to give up.
We arrived at our end point a little early and the guides built a fire to keep us warm while we waited to be picked up. When the truck came, we said our farewells to Ah-Mi and headed back to tour headquarters where we met our third and final guide.
At headquarters, while we were lounging in chairs on the lawn and rubbing our sore feet, our guide he came over to my chair and introduced himself.
Guide (in one breath): “Hi I’m Eddie your guide are you married?”
These Thai men wasted no time beating around the bush. Great, I thought, What do I have to buy this time? Although a bit odd, Eddie was mostly harmless, but best of all, I didn’t have to use my wallet to bribe my way out of a marriage proposition!
With the exception of another long walk, the rest of the day was relaxing as promised. We rode elephants (it was very bumpy... you can check out a video of it here) and then glided on rafts on a small waterway. Sitting on the raft and looking at the beautiful scenery was the most peaceful I had felt in a long time and a wonderful way to conclude our trek.
The tour company dropped us back at our hotel in Chiang Mai where we all spent our last night together. The next morning we all parted ways and I headed off to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia to join Indhu, her grandparents, and Lin.
After an hour or two of hiking through the steep mountain side, we took a break for hot tea and listened to Thai men converse animatedly with each other.
We then explored another cave and paid a short visit to a monk who lives there with his many cats.
Afterwards, our guides prepared a delicious lunch. Instead of carrying bowls and utensils with them, the guides cut bamboo stalks from which they fashioned sturdy bowls and chopsticks for us to use.
In the afternoon, while taking another brief rest, Giles convinced me to engage in some “martial art” choreography with our bamboo walking canes. It was all fun and games until someone (i.e. me) got whacked over the head with a stick. Ouch.
By late afternoon, we hiked to the village where we were to eat dinner and spend the night. Upon setting our bags down in our hut, we walked around to familiarize ourselves with the place and meet some of the villagers.As we passed by a group of villagers, one of them called out to me. “Hi, my name is Joe.* What’s your name?”
*Not his real name (because I don’t remember what it really is).
Me: “Hi, I’m Christina.”
Joe: “Are you Mary?”
Me: “Um, no. I’m Christina.”
Joe: “Are you Mary?”
Me (really puzzled): “Am I Mary? No… I said I’m… Oh! Am I married? No, I’m not married. (Awkward pause). Are you married?”
Joe: “No.” (intense stare)
Me: “Oh ok. Well, see you later!”
Later that night, after dinner as we were all sitting around the bonfire, I watched our guide Ah-Mi and Joe engaged in what appeared to be a very serious discussion. Finally, Giles asked Ah-Mi what they were talking about.
“Oh, we’re talking about marriage,” Ah-Mi replied with a smirk. Then he asks me, “How old are you?”
When I told him, he gave this look that I interpreted as “What, that old and not married off yet? Must be damaged goods.”
He turned to Joe and said something in Thai. I looked at Joe. He looked at me. I averted eye contact and then stared blankly at the fire. This continued for a while. I tolerated so much awkwardness before I eventually stood up and retired into my hut for the night.
Joe is the dashing male on the rightAt one point in the night, I sat up for no good reason. Realizing what I had done, I laid back down and in the process of doing so, I reached out to locate my pillow but found Charlotte’s head instead. Still groggy, I didn’t recognize what it was right away. So for a good ten seconds, I groped Charlotte’s face, confused as to why my pillow was no longer soft and cushiony. Yep, that made some awkward conversation in the morning.
Following breakfast and before we set off again, Joe came by with a plastic bag of hand woven clothes and bags. He said they were made by his sister. Out of guilt, I offered to look at his wares. He sat and watched as I feigned interest in each item I pulled out. In the end, I bought the cheapest thing there was – a small, purple shoulder bag. I felt like I was buying myself out of a marriage deal. (This special bag has since been sent to a very lucky person for her belated birthday.)
We were told by the guides that our third day was to be the easiest – a short walk to a pick-up point followed by an elephant ride and bamboo rafting. But that “short walk” turned out to be a forty-five minute uphill steep climb. My body was both burning from exertion and drenched in cold sweat. If I hadn’t had Henry to talk to on the hike to distract me, I probably would have wanted to give up.We arrived at our end point a little early and the guides built a fire to keep us warm while we waited to be picked up. When the truck came, we said our farewells to Ah-Mi and headed back to tour headquarters where we met our third and final guide.
At headquarters, while we were lounging in chairs on the lawn and rubbing our sore feet, our guide he came over to my chair and introduced himself.
Guide (in one breath): “Hi I’m Eddie your guide are you married?”
These Thai men wasted no time beating around the bush. Great, I thought, What do I have to buy this time? Although a bit odd, Eddie was mostly harmless, but best of all, I didn’t have to use my wallet to bribe my way out of a marriage proposition!
With the exception of another long walk, the rest of the day was relaxing as promised. We rode elephants (it was very bumpy... you can check out a video of it here) and then glided on rafts on a small waterway. Sitting on the raft and looking at the beautiful scenery was the most peaceful I had felt in a long time and a wonderful way to conclude our trek.
The tour company dropped us back at our hotel in Chiang Mai where we all spent our last night together. The next morning we all parted ways and I headed off to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia to join Indhu, her grandparents, and Lin.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Kings Canyon, Kata Tjuta, Uluru
The week after finals ended, Casey and I flew to Alice Springs (Central Australia) for a 3-day tour of Kings Canyon, Kata Tjuta, and Uluru through Mulga's Adventures with 19 other adventurous globetrotters.
Alice Springs is certainly not a tourist destination in of itself. The town is small and depressing. Frankly, it's very dodgy and not a good place to be wandering around alone at night. Casey and I arrived the day before our tour, and amused ourselves by visiting some second hand stores and cuddling joeys at a baby kangaroo rescue center. At the center, we met this guy who saves baby 'roos from the pouches of their dead mothers found on the side of the road. As a surrogate mother, he cuddles, feeds, and swaps spit with the joeys ('roos usually stay hydrated by licking their mothers' tongues) until they are old enough to be released back into the wild.
Our tour was great. Who knew that going to the middle of nowhere to see some rocks could be so much fun? Our tour group camped in the bush both nights and slept in swags (an open top canvas bag with a pad) around a campfire, underneath the stars.
Here's a photo slideshow of the highlights. Go to my public gallery to read the captions (click on link in the lower left hand corner).
A few memorable moments:
While we were out in the bush looking for firewood in the dark, Casey sees a pile of dark, round pies.
Casey: Ooh, that looks like good firewood.
She picks one of them up.
Casey: Fuck, this is petrified shit.
Five minutes later --
Casey: Ooh, what's that shiny thing?
She pokes at it with the same hand that's tainted with feral camel dung.
Casey: Shit, it's a spider!
While playing hangman in the dirt by the campfire --
Me: (Instead of guessing letters) Pizza!
Casey: No.
Me: Chocolate!
Casey: No.
Me: Um... marshmallows?
Casey: It's not food.
Me: Ok. Australia?
Casey: No.
Me: Kangaroo!
Casey: Just guess a letter!
Me: Ok, fine. "Z."
Casey: You're bad at this.
(I redeemed myself by stumping Casey with "ketchup" when it was my turn.)
Alice Springs is certainly not a tourist destination in of itself. The town is small and depressing. Frankly, it's very dodgy and not a good place to be wandering around alone at night. Casey and I arrived the day before our tour, and amused ourselves by visiting some second hand stores and cuddling joeys at a baby kangaroo rescue center. At the center, we met this guy who saves baby 'roos from the pouches of their dead mothers found on the side of the road. As a surrogate mother, he cuddles, feeds, and swaps spit with the joeys ('roos usually stay hydrated by licking their mothers' tongues) until they are old enough to be released back into the wild.
Our tour was great. Who knew that going to the middle of nowhere to see some rocks could be so much fun? Our tour group camped in the bush both nights and slept in swags (an open top canvas bag with a pad) around a campfire, underneath the stars.
Here's a photo slideshow of the highlights. Go to my public gallery to read the captions (click on link in the lower left hand corner).
A few memorable moments:
While we were out in the bush looking for firewood in the dark, Casey sees a pile of dark, round pies.
Casey: Ooh, that looks like good firewood.
She picks one of them up.
Casey: Fuck, this is petrified shit.
Five minutes later --
Casey: Ooh, what's that shiny thing?
She pokes at it with the same hand that's tainted with feral camel dung.
Casey: Shit, it's a spider!
While playing hangman in the dirt by the campfire --
Me: (Instead of guessing letters) Pizza!
Casey: No.
Me: Chocolate!
Casey: No.
Me: Um... marshmallows?
Casey: It's not food.
Me: Ok. Australia?
Casey: No.
Me: Kangaroo!
Casey: Just guess a letter!
Me: Ok, fine. "Z."
Casey: You're bad at this.
(I redeemed myself by stumping Casey with "ketchup" when it was my turn.)
Friday, May 18, 2007
Ride the Gerbil at the Sexpo!
-- Poster advertising the annual Adelaide Sexpo. It is what it sounds like.
Now that I have your full attention, here’s an update on the past few months of my life. (By the way, I did not get to ride the Gerbil. I heard it was overrated anyway.)
First, some exciting news -- I’m officially a master! I finished up my last semester two weeks ago. Commencement is next Friday at the South Australian Museum. My family will be coming into town next Wednesday. They’ll be here not so much for the ceremony as for the free food and booze. My niece is coming for the baby kangaroos. And cake.
And now for the important stuff everyone wants to know--
Q: What’s after graduation? Are you staying in the land of bouncing marsupials?
A: I leave Adelaide the weekend after graduation and will be taking my family to Melbourne via the Grampians National Park and Great Ocean Road. My family will be flying back home from Sydney and on the day they fly out, Henry is flying in to join me for two weeks of travel through northern Australia. After a day and a half in Sydney, we’re going to roadtrip from Broome to Exmouth and Ningaloo Reef for snorkeling, diving, and beach bumming for a week. Then we’re going to head back in the easterly direction to Darwin for a truly “Aussie outback experience.” (In other words, I don’t know what we’ll be doing there yet, but I need to plan that soon.) After Darwin, Henry will fly to Cairns to the Great Barrier Reef for more diving and I will fly back to the mother land. I will be on U.S. soil in late June.
Q: So where are you moving to?
A: Not sure. Someone’s couch, perhaps? I reckon that I will probably be on the go for most of the summer. I want to take a few months off to re-center my chi. I’ll be on the west coast for a bit and might return east sometime in July or August.
Q: Are you ever going to get a job?
A: Job schmob.
Q: Slacker. Seriously, what’s next?
A: Do you recall when I flew to Los Angeles a few months ago to take the exam for the Presidential Management Fellows Program? I don’t know which bribe worked, but I was selected as a PMF finalist. For whatever reason, the selection process was very competitive this year and I was only one of three students out of 23 accepted from CMU. Usually, the acceptance rate is about 50%. I reckon it must’ve been that life experience/personality section that made the difference for me. It appears that having good attendance in high school has really paid off. Sweet! (Yes, the exam actually asked me about my attendance in high school.)
I have until March 2008 to be placed in a federal agency and participate in the fellowship. That may seem like more than enough time, but it is, after all, the government that we’re talking about. I interviewed with a couple of agencies over a month ago and still haven’t heard a response from them despite multiple follow up emails. So even though I’m a PMF finalist, I still need to actively seek out agencies and go through an interview process and wait for an offer. Theoretically, it should be much easier to land a government job as a PMF but I’ve yet to see this happen. If you want to learn more about the PMF, check out their website.
So the short answer to this question is -- I’d like to do the PMF if I can get a placement at an agency I want (e.g. EPA, DOE), but I’m not going to put all my eggs in one basket. I will be applying for other jobs in the meantime.
Q: Okay, that has some semblance of a plan. Good on ya, mate! What have you been doing since finals week?
A: I recently returned from a five-day trip to the red centre of Australia to see Uluru (or Ayers Rock), Kings Canyon, and Kata Tjuta (or the Olgas) with Casey, fellow American and member of the new class of Heinz students. It was a great trip, but I’ll talk more about that later in a subsequent post.
I’ve also been playing a lot of Ultimate. I finally got back into playing in February. It has been awesome, and I owe it all to my mate Raj whom I met at a party in January and who invited me to play on his hat league team. One night at hat league, I bumped into this guy Phil whom I had met months earlier at a women’s practice (he was there to help coach) and he invited me to play on his fall/winter social league team. Feeling ambitious, I also signed up for a second league playing women’s. So during the semester – when I was up to my eyeballs with coursework, group projects, and being a TA for statistics – I was also playing league twice a week. Although it seemed like an insane decision at the time, it was probably one of the best things I’ve done all year. Because I <3 ULTIMATE FRISBEE. I was only crazy to not have started playing right when I first got here.
Q: Okay, okay, enough about Ultimate already. Are you EVER going to finish blogging about that South East Asia trip and Oz roadtrip with Lin-head from five months ago?
A: Maybe, but motivation is lacking. Check back here in a few days and you’ll have your answer.
Now that I have your full attention, here’s an update on the past few months of my life. (By the way, I did not get to ride the Gerbil. I heard it was overrated anyway.)
First, some exciting news -- I’m officially a master! I finished up my last semester two weeks ago. Commencement is next Friday at the South Australian Museum. My family will be coming into town next Wednesday. They’ll be here not so much for the ceremony as for the free food and booze. My niece is coming for the baby kangaroos. And cake.
And now for the important stuff everyone wants to know--
Q: What’s after graduation? Are you staying in the land of bouncing marsupials?
A: I leave Adelaide the weekend after graduation and will be taking my family to Melbourne via the Grampians National Park and Great Ocean Road. My family will be flying back home from Sydney and on the day they fly out, Henry is flying in to join me for two weeks of travel through northern Australia. After a day and a half in Sydney, we’re going to roadtrip from Broome to Exmouth and Ningaloo Reef for snorkeling, diving, and beach bumming for a week. Then we’re going to head back in the easterly direction to Darwin for a truly “Aussie outback experience.” (In other words, I don’t know what we’ll be doing there yet, but I need to plan that soon.) After Darwin, Henry will fly to Cairns to the Great Barrier Reef for more diving and I will fly back to the mother land. I will be on U.S. soil in late June.
Q: So where are you moving to?
A: Not sure. Someone’s couch, perhaps? I reckon that I will probably be on the go for most of the summer. I want to take a few months off to re-center my chi. I’ll be on the west coast for a bit and might return east sometime in July or August.
Q: Are you ever going to get a job?
A: Job schmob.
Q: Slacker. Seriously, what’s next?
A: Do you recall when I flew to Los Angeles a few months ago to take the exam for the Presidential Management Fellows Program? I don’t know which bribe worked, but I was selected as a PMF finalist. For whatever reason, the selection process was very competitive this year and I was only one of three students out of 23 accepted from CMU. Usually, the acceptance rate is about 50%. I reckon it must’ve been that life experience/personality section that made the difference for me. It appears that having good attendance in high school has really paid off. Sweet! (Yes, the exam actually asked me about my attendance in high school.)
I have until March 2008 to be placed in a federal agency and participate in the fellowship. That may seem like more than enough time, but it is, after all, the government that we’re talking about. I interviewed with a couple of agencies over a month ago and still haven’t heard a response from them despite multiple follow up emails. So even though I’m a PMF finalist, I still need to actively seek out agencies and go through an interview process and wait for an offer. Theoretically, it should be much easier to land a government job as a PMF but I’ve yet to see this happen. If you want to learn more about the PMF, check out their website.
So the short answer to this question is -- I’d like to do the PMF if I can get a placement at an agency I want (e.g. EPA, DOE), but I’m not going to put all my eggs in one basket. I will be applying for other jobs in the meantime.
Q: Okay, that has some semblance of a plan. Good on ya, mate! What have you been doing since finals week?
A: I recently returned from a five-day trip to the red centre of Australia to see Uluru (or Ayers Rock), Kings Canyon, and Kata Tjuta (or the Olgas) with Casey, fellow American and member of the new class of Heinz students. It was a great trip, but I’ll talk more about that later in a subsequent post.
I’ve also been playing a lot of Ultimate. I finally got back into playing in February. It has been awesome, and I owe it all to my mate Raj whom I met at a party in January and who invited me to play on his hat league team. One night at hat league, I bumped into this guy Phil whom I had met months earlier at a women’s practice (he was there to help coach) and he invited me to play on his fall/winter social league team. Feeling ambitious, I also signed up for a second league playing women’s. So during the semester – when I was up to my eyeballs with coursework, group projects, and being a TA for statistics – I was also playing league twice a week. Although it seemed like an insane decision at the time, it was probably one of the best things I’ve done all year. Because I <3 ULTIMATE FRISBEE. I was only crazy to not have started playing right when I first got here.
Q: Okay, okay, enough about Ultimate already. Are you EVER going to finish blogging about that South East Asia trip and Oz roadtrip with Lin-head from five months ago?
A: Maybe, but motivation is lacking. Check back here in a few days and you’ll have your answer.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Alive, but barely.
I've been inundated with work, so blogging has fallen to the wayside (and with it, my sanity). When the chaos subsides in 17 days, I promise I'll have more entries posted. I'll even be ambitious and aim for a new entry by the weekend. Stay tuned.
Monday, March 12, 2007
Trekking in Chiang Dao - Day 1
... and we're back to our regularly scheduled program!
So where was I? Oh yes, Thailand. Still.
On our third day in Chiang Mai, I dragged my sorry butt out of bed at sunrise for an early morning pick up by our guide for a three-day trek through Chiang Dao. At 7 am, the hotel lobby was already bustling with people waiting for their guided tours. We milled around for forty-five minutes looking like lost children waiting to be claimed. When Giles started to scare some of the hotel patrons by running up to them with a paper sign and eagerly exclaiming, “Are you Chiang Dao Nest Trek?” Charlotte finally called the tour company.
Giles asking, "Are you my tour guide?"
It turned out that the guide had come but picked up the wrong five people. While we waited for him to come back to the hotel, Charlotte wondered aloud, “What’s the chance that another group of five with one member by the name of Charlotte signed up for a three-day trek in Chiang Dao on the same day?”
Well, that chance was actually zero. Although the guide was supposed to look for Charlotte, he somehow kept asking for someone named Sam. And it just so happened that a family of five – a man by the name of Sam, his wife, and three young children – were standing in the lobby when the guide came by earlier. They climbed into the tuk tuk thinking it was a taxi going into town. In the tuk tuk were a young Australian couple – Luke and Tanya – who were also going on the trek. After a brief conversation, Luke and Tanya realized that the family had gotten into the wrong vehicle. They suggested to Sam and his wife that they inform the driver, but strangely, they just shrugged it off until an hour into the ride when the tour office finally called the driver on his cell phone and asked him to turn around.
After over two hours of waiting, our van finally pulled up in front of the hotel. Sam, his wife, and their kids jumped out and we climbed in. Tired and hungry, we all looked like a herd of cattle being carted off to the slaughterhouse. We mostly sat in silence during the two-hour ride but perked up when we arrived at our destination and were greeted by the trekking company owner who fed us breakfast.
Chiang Dao Nest Headquarters
The first official activity of the trek was cave exploration. We were introduced to our first guide – Nada – who handed each of us a hard hat and a bottle of water before taking us on a 15-min walk to the cave. The cave was dark and low and narrow in some spots, requiring us to crawl on our stomachs.
Charlotte maneuvering through a tight spot like a pro
Half a dozen times after squeezing through some tight openings, I’d try to warn the person behind me of upcoming dangers by saying, “Hey, be careful over here. Watch out for the [insert death-causing hazard here]” and before I can finish, I’d bash my head against some low hanging rock ahead of me. All I can say is, thank god for hard hats. Without them, I’d be a sitting vegetable right now.
Making new friends along the way
In the late afternoon, after a trek up to a waterfall, we headed to a small village where we had dinner and spent the night in a hut. I don’t know if it’s based on past experience of previous tourists or the general perception of westerners, but whereas the people in every village we visited seemed to eat modestly, our trekking group was offered an obscene amount of food at every meal. It was like if we each didn’t consume – or at least offered – a minimum of ten pounds of rice, meat, and vegetables at every sitting, we would somehow spontaneously combust. I wanted to dispel any Thai notions of western tourists as gluttons, but I also knew that any leftover food would be thrown away. This put me in a real quandary. Should I binge or harbor guilt for wasting food while millions of children in third world countries starved to death? It was a tough choice. My solution? I sat at the table with Giles for two hours and engaged in an eating marathon that ended just short of intestinal eruption, and then fed some leftovers to a hungry kitten that had shown up at our table uninvited.
The view from our first village at sunset
After dinner, we joined our village hosts and guides around a bonfire. Northern Thailand in the month of December turns frigid at night. I was unaware of this critical information when I packed for my month long trip and hence failed to bring anything warmer than a pair of Capri pants and a long-sleeved hiking shirt. As I sat shivering in front of the fire, one of the women in the village asked Charlotte, Caryn, and me if we wanted to try on some traditional Thai dresses.
She led us into a hut and pulled out dresses for each of us. We put them on and walked back to the bonfire. One of the village men pulled out a traditional northern Thai wind instrument and as he played it, the rest of us linked arms and danced around in a circle until we got dizzy and tired. That was when the party ended and those of us who hadn’t gone to bed yet turned in for the night.
Don't say it - I already know that I look frumpy in that dress.
So where was I? Oh yes, Thailand. Still.
On our third day in Chiang Mai, I dragged my sorry butt out of bed at sunrise for an early morning pick up by our guide for a three-day trek through Chiang Dao. At 7 am, the hotel lobby was already bustling with people waiting for their guided tours. We milled around for forty-five minutes looking like lost children waiting to be claimed. When Giles started to scare some of the hotel patrons by running up to them with a paper sign and eagerly exclaiming, “Are you Chiang Dao Nest Trek?” Charlotte finally called the tour company.
Giles asking, "Are you my tour guide?"Well, that chance was actually zero. Although the guide was supposed to look for Charlotte, he somehow kept asking for someone named Sam. And it just so happened that a family of five – a man by the name of Sam, his wife, and three young children – were standing in the lobby when the guide came by earlier. They climbed into the tuk tuk thinking it was a taxi going into town. In the tuk tuk were a young Australian couple – Luke and Tanya – who were also going on the trek. After a brief conversation, Luke and Tanya realized that the family had gotten into the wrong vehicle. They suggested to Sam and his wife that they inform the driver, but strangely, they just shrugged it off until an hour into the ride when the tour office finally called the driver on his cell phone and asked him to turn around.
After over two hours of waiting, our van finally pulled up in front of the hotel. Sam, his wife, and their kids jumped out and we climbed in. Tired and hungry, we all looked like a herd of cattle being carted off to the slaughterhouse. We mostly sat in silence during the two-hour ride but perked up when we arrived at our destination and were greeted by the trekking company owner who fed us breakfast.
Chiang Dao Nest Headquarters
Charlotte maneuvering through a tight spot like a pro
Making new friends along the way
The view from our first village at sunsetShe led us into a hut and pulled out dresses for each of us. We put them on and walked back to the bonfire. One of the village men pulled out a traditional northern Thai wind instrument and as he played it, the rest of us linked arms and danced around in a circle until we got dizzy and tired. That was when the party ended and those of us who hadn’t gone to bed yet turned in for the night.
Don't say it - I already know that I look frumpy in that dress.Saturday, March 03, 2007
Chimps are Plotting World Domination
Chimpanzees (mostly females) in West Africa have been spotted fashioning spears out of wood to hunt and kill small prey. According to an article in the Washington Post, it is the "first routine production of deadly weapons ever observed in animals other than humans." This is both fascinating and frightening to me. I'm loathe to think what might be next. Before we know it, these chimps will be forming tribes, competing for pieces of flint in their loin cloths, and then voting their least competent members off a remote island somewhere.
And after a few years they'll realize that's just too much work, so they'll emulate the already highly evolved domestic feline and turn into couch potatoes.
So this post is just me procrastinating yet again from writing about the rest of my travels over break. Maybe I'll get back on track by the end of the weekend...
And after a few years they'll realize that's just too much work, so they'll emulate the already highly evolved domestic feline and turn into couch potatoes.
So this post is just me procrastinating yet again from writing about the rest of my travels over break. Maybe I'll get back on track by the end of the weekend...
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Reliving the Glorious 80s
I think this video is hilarious. Gosh, don't you just miss the 80s?! I know, I don't either.
By the way, can you believe that Jane Fonda turns 70 this year? So she was 50 when she made those workout videos? Wow. Forget about engaging in "body fusion" activities; at that age, I'd feel lucky just to be able to chew solid foods and not have to wear an adult diaper!
On the topic of fitness gurus, apparently people around the world are still sweatin' to the oldies with Richard Simmons (he turns 59 this year). I guess that stuff never gets "old" for some people.
By the way, can you believe that Jane Fonda turns 70 this year? So she was 50 when she made those workout videos? Wow. Forget about engaging in "body fusion" activities; at that age, I'd feel lucky just to be able to chew solid foods and not have to wear an adult diaper!
On the topic of fitness gurus, apparently people around the world are still sweatin' to the oldies with Richard Simmons (he turns 59 this year). I guess that stuff never gets "old" for some people.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
We Got More Bounce in California!
I have returned from my short trip back to the States. It was great to go "home" even though I didn't get a chance to see my family. I was lucky, however, to spend some time with family friends, Diana, Andrew, and their two kids, and Michelle who generously took time off from her busy schedule to drive me all over LA to go sightseeing.
I hadn't realized how much I'd adjusted to living in Oz until I found myself doing little things like looking the wrong way before crossing the street, getting into the wrong side of the car as a passenger ("uh, did you want to drive?" was a look/question I often got), and constantly trying to go up a down escalator. And every time anyone spoke, my immediate thought was, "Wow! An American!" like I'd never met one of my own before.
The flights there and back were long and uncomfortable, and getting through airport security was a lot more complicated than what I've gotten used to. In the States - as I'm sure many of you already know - compared to pre-9/11 times, lines to get through security are longer, the likelihood of your bags getting searched is higher, and if you're like me, there's always something that ends up getting confiscated. I've replaced my small swiss army knife at least twice for forgetting that I had brought it with me in my carry-on bag.
And the new 3.2 oz and one plastic baggy rule for liquids in carry-on baggage - are you kidding? I forgot that I had a 6oz bottle of unopened juice when I got to my gate at the Sydney airport and I was told to either drink the entire thing in front of security or throw it away. Then after getting a pat down by a female guard, a male guard standing nearby came toward me as I was putting my shoes back on and said, "My turn," winked, and then started rubbing his hands on his chest. Gross! Apparently, the likelihood of getting sexually harassed is still greater than getting attacked by a terrorist.
In Australia, little has changed to airport security since 9/11. For example, every time I've flown on a domestic flight within Oz, I have not had to show any form of I.D. at any point between the check-in counter and getting on the airplane. This could be a bit scary given the state of the world that we live in today, but if you think about it - Australia is so far from anywhere else (except Antarctica but seriously, who goes there?), it's probably too much trouble to come all the way here to blow up an airplane. Of course, this perspective comes from a peace-loving, tree-hugging, kumbaya-singing, why-can't-we-all-just-along-thinking hippie pacifist. What do I know?
But anyway, back to Los Angeles. My "test" went okay though it was one of the strangest assessments I've ever taken. It was entirely multiple choice and it consisted of three main parts: critical thinking; life experience; and reading comprehension/grammar. I probably shouldn't go into specific details about what was on the exam (they're still administering it in different parts of the country) but I can't help but share a little something about the "life experience" section. What was odd about this section was that some of the questions asked about my performance in high school. Dude, that was so long ago, who the heck cares anymore? Apparently, the federal government does. The questions asked about my grades and attendance. Geez louise.
What I thought was the funniest moment was right before we started on that section. The proctor said, "I just received an email from the psychologist who developed these questions. He says do not complete question #93. Turn to that question in your booklet and cross it out." We all flipped to it and the question read (and I quote):
"No matter what I do, people just don't like me."
Exactly why it's necessary for the government to know this kind of information is beyond me, but whatever.
After spending four hours doing that silly thing, I went to the La Brea Tar Pits with Michelle. I had also wanted to visit the LACMA (Los Angeles County Museum of Art) and the MOCA (Museum of Contemporary Art) but they were both closed on Wednesdays. So much for getting some culture while I was in LA.
Other highlights of my trip: Diana works for Tom Hanks' production company, Playtone, so I tagged along to her office, got a tour and chatted with some of her co-workers about the movie business. It's a small company but it does a surprising number of big projects for its size (e.g. Big Love, Ant Bully, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and upcoming productions - John Adams, Pacifica, etc). Diana also drove me through her neighborhood and pointed out homes of various celebrities including Jennifer Garner, John Travolta, Jim Carrey, and Alanis Morrissette. And by "homes" I really mean very tall bushes. I hope people don't actually pay money to buy celebrity maps or go on tours because there is absolutely nothing to see - unless you're really interested in iron gates and big thorny flora. But to each their own.
Now it's back to papers and problem sets. Two and a half more months to go! Woo!
I hadn't realized how much I'd adjusted to living in Oz until I found myself doing little things like looking the wrong way before crossing the street, getting into the wrong side of the car as a passenger ("uh, did you want to drive?" was a look/question I often got), and constantly trying to go up a down escalator. And every time anyone spoke, my immediate thought was, "Wow! An American!" like I'd never met one of my own before.
The flights there and back were long and uncomfortable, and getting through airport security was a lot more complicated than what I've gotten used to. In the States - as I'm sure many of you already know - compared to pre-9/11 times, lines to get through security are longer, the likelihood of your bags getting searched is higher, and if you're like me, there's always something that ends up getting confiscated. I've replaced my small swiss army knife at least twice for forgetting that I had brought it with me in my carry-on bag.
And the new 3.2 oz and one plastic baggy rule for liquids in carry-on baggage - are you kidding? I forgot that I had a 6oz bottle of unopened juice when I got to my gate at the Sydney airport and I was told to either drink the entire thing in front of security or throw it away. Then after getting a pat down by a female guard, a male guard standing nearby came toward me as I was putting my shoes back on and said, "My turn," winked, and then started rubbing his hands on his chest. Gross! Apparently, the likelihood of getting sexually harassed is still greater than getting attacked by a terrorist.
In Australia, little has changed to airport security since 9/11. For example, every time I've flown on a domestic flight within Oz, I have not had to show any form of I.D. at any point between the check-in counter and getting on the airplane. This could be a bit scary given the state of the world that we live in today, but if you think about it - Australia is so far from anywhere else (except Antarctica but seriously, who goes there?), it's probably too much trouble to come all the way here to blow up an airplane. Of course, this perspective comes from a peace-loving, tree-hugging, kumbaya-singing, why-can't-we-all-just-along-thinking hippie pacifist. What do I know?
But anyway, back to Los Angeles. My "test" went okay though it was one of the strangest assessments I've ever taken. It was entirely multiple choice and it consisted of three main parts: critical thinking; life experience; and reading comprehension/grammar. I probably shouldn't go into specific details about what was on the exam (they're still administering it in different parts of the country) but I can't help but share a little something about the "life experience" section. What was odd about this section was that some of the questions asked about my performance in high school. Dude, that was so long ago, who the heck cares anymore? Apparently, the federal government does. The questions asked about my grades and attendance. Geez louise.
What I thought was the funniest moment was right before we started on that section. The proctor said, "I just received an email from the psychologist who developed these questions. He says do not complete question #93. Turn to that question in your booklet and cross it out." We all flipped to it and the question read (and I quote):
"No matter what I do, people just don't like me."
Exactly why it's necessary for the government to know this kind of information is beyond me, but whatever.
After spending four hours doing that silly thing, I went to the La Brea Tar Pits with Michelle. I had also wanted to visit the LACMA (Los Angeles County Museum of Art) and the MOCA (Museum of Contemporary Art) but they were both closed on Wednesdays. So much for getting some culture while I was in LA.
Other highlights of my trip: Diana works for Tom Hanks' production company, Playtone, so I tagged along to her office, got a tour and chatted with some of her co-workers about the movie business. It's a small company but it does a surprising number of big projects for its size (e.g. Big Love, Ant Bully, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and upcoming productions - John Adams, Pacifica, etc). Diana also drove me through her neighborhood and pointed out homes of various celebrities including Jennifer Garner, John Travolta, Jim Carrey, and Alanis Morrissette. And by "homes" I really mean very tall bushes. I hope people don't actually pay money to buy celebrity maps or go on tours because there is absolutely nothing to see - unless you're really interested in iron gates and big thorny flora. But to each their own.
Now it's back to papers and problem sets. Two and a half more months to go! Woo!
Friday, February 09, 2007
Another Reason to Feel Superior
A study published by a team of researchers at Southampton University a couple of months ago found a link between a high IQ and being vegetarian. Among the 8,000+ participants in the study, those who were vegetarian by the age of 30 had IQ scores five points above the average.
Other findings in the study show that vegetarians were more likely to be female, to be of higher occupational social class, and to have higher academic qualifications than non-vegetarians.
Vegetarians, on average, also experience lower rates of heart disease and obesity. So not only are we smarter, we're healthier too. And we're really hot to boot. No study is required to confirm that fact!
If that isn't a good enough reason to give up your Big Macs and fried chicken, you may want to check out this article. I read it about three years ago and it influenced me to switch to a vegetarian diet. Read it and form your own opinions on the issue. Feel free to share those opinions on this blog!
Other findings in the study show that vegetarians were more likely to be female, to be of higher occupational social class, and to have higher academic qualifications than non-vegetarians.
Vegetarians, on average, also experience lower rates of heart disease and obesity. So not only are we smarter, we're healthier too. And we're really hot to boot. No study is required to confirm that fact!
If that isn't a good enough reason to give up your Big Macs and fried chicken, you may want to check out this article. I read it about three years ago and it influenced me to switch to a vegetarian diet. Read it and form your own opinions on the issue. Feel free to share those opinions on this blog!
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Is it February Already?
At the rate I'm blogging these days, it'll take me until May before I finish writing about my travels over my break. I blame it all on this pesky thing called school that keeps getting in the way. On top of classes and capstone project work (which is done in lieu of a traditional thesis), I'm also a TA for two statistics classes and a peer mentor for some of the new incoming students. It's the second week of the semester and most of the newbies are already looking like shell-shocked flood victims. What can I say except - Welcome to the Heinz school, your new hell away from home! Suck it up and start getting used to it, cupcake! As you can see, I'm an excellent and sympathetic mentor to my peers.
Did I also mention that I need to be looking for this other pesky thing called a job? Since the administration has slacked in providing career support for its students, we full-time students are left to find jobs on our own. We have limited, if any, access to recruiting services back in Pittsburgh. With the distance and ridiculous time difference (i.e. 15.5 hours!), the career services staff back in Pittsburgh seem to always forget about us no matter how many e-mails we send reminding them that we do in fact exist and need jobs too.
Over the semester break, the staff interviewed a prospective candidate for the career specialist position for the Adelaide campus. Indhu and Andy, our student reps, attended a mock presentation that this candidate put on to strut her stuff. According to Indhu and Andy, she was dreadful. There was no mention of recruiting at all in her presentation. When Indhu asked her to describe her strategies to find students jobs, her response was that she'd have to do some "research" on that. So what does the school do about this? It hired her of course. She starts next week.
Although on-campus recruiting has been disappointing in that it has been non-existent, Heinz has been surprisingly helpful in other ways. I will be taking an assessment test for a federal government program next week in Los Angeles and Heinz will be reimbursing my airfare. It'll be a pain in the ass to fly half way around the world for a 3-hour test, but because Heinz is providing financial support for me to do it, it's an opportunity that I shouldn't pass up. The downside to this is that I will be missing an entire week of school. I fly out this coming Sunday morning and I leave LA Thursday night but I don't actually arrive back in Adelaide until Saturday morning, so I lose almost two days coming back.
It's hard to believe that when I fly into LAX this weekend it will have been almost nine months since I've been in the States. That's the longest time I've been out of the country! It hasn't felt like that much time has passed but it does feel like I've been in school for too long. I think I might be getting a bad case of senioritis!
Before I finish this entry, I want to say that I haven't given up on the plan to finish blogging about my recent travels, but it's taking a lot longer to write than I had anticipated. So I pose this question to all my adoring fans out there -- how interested are you in reading more about Southeast Asia and my romp through northeastern Australia with Lin, the 'promiscuous maneater'? (Did I intrigue you with that last little tidbit?) Post a comment - I need some encouragement here!
Did I also mention that I need to be looking for this other pesky thing called a job? Since the administration has slacked in providing career support for its students, we full-time students are left to find jobs on our own. We have limited, if any, access to recruiting services back in Pittsburgh. With the distance and ridiculous time difference (i.e. 15.5 hours!), the career services staff back in Pittsburgh seem to always forget about us no matter how many e-mails we send reminding them that we do in fact exist and need jobs too.
Over the semester break, the staff interviewed a prospective candidate for the career specialist position for the Adelaide campus. Indhu and Andy, our student reps, attended a mock presentation that this candidate put on to strut her stuff. According to Indhu and Andy, she was dreadful. There was no mention of recruiting at all in her presentation. When Indhu asked her to describe her strategies to find students jobs, her response was that she'd have to do some "research" on that. So what does the school do about this? It hired her of course. She starts next week.
Although on-campus recruiting has been disappointing in that it has been non-existent, Heinz has been surprisingly helpful in other ways. I will be taking an assessment test for a federal government program next week in Los Angeles and Heinz will be reimbursing my airfare. It'll be a pain in the ass to fly half way around the world for a 3-hour test, but because Heinz is providing financial support for me to do it, it's an opportunity that I shouldn't pass up. The downside to this is that I will be missing an entire week of school. I fly out this coming Sunday morning and I leave LA Thursday night but I don't actually arrive back in Adelaide until Saturday morning, so I lose almost two days coming back.
It's hard to believe that when I fly into LAX this weekend it will have been almost nine months since I've been in the States. That's the longest time I've been out of the country! It hasn't felt like that much time has passed but it does feel like I've been in school for too long. I think I might be getting a bad case of senioritis!
Before I finish this entry, I want to say that I haven't given up on the plan to finish blogging about my recent travels, but it's taking a lot longer to write than I had anticipated. So I pose this question to all my adoring fans out there -- how interested are you in reading more about Southeast Asia and my romp through northeastern Australia with Lin, the 'promiscuous maneater'? (Did I intrigue you with that last little tidbit?) Post a comment - I need some encouragement here!
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