Green Eggs & Spam

A while back, someone named Ann at my company sent an e-mail with a question addressed to "Timekeeping & WebET Training." Due to some glitch, the message ended up in the e-mail box of every single employee.

Within a four minute period, while I was on the phone with a client, a flurry of e-mail responses popped up in my inbox. I stared at the computer screen, completely mesmerized. It was like watching a bag of popcorn self-inflate in a microwave.

The following is a sequence of messages (in verbatim) in response to the original e-mail**:

'Not in HR' Thelma (9:58am):

I'm not in that section, and I cannot answer any of your questions. Sorry…

'Not wanting to be left out' Laura (9:59am):
I also received this email by mistake and cannot answer your question.

'Confident that he can't help' Duane (10:00am):
I'm sure I'm not the person you need to direct this to.

'Replies to all to tell everyone not to reply to all' Lon (10:01am):
Stop replying to all. This message should not have been sent to this list. All staff should disregard.

'Likes to state the obvious' Jeannie (10:01am):
For some reason, when you sent this to Timekeeping and Training - it goes to everyone! No idea why!

'Not wanting to be outdone by Lon' Roger (10:02am):
To All:

Ignore and DO NOT RESPOND to the email originating from Ann or this email that you are reading.

'Clueless and probably hates his job' Nicholas (10:02am):
?

**Note: I don't actually know who any of these people are. It's a big company.

A little something to lighten the mood

This got a chuckle out of me today. It reminded me of the brain teasers I used to do in middle school.

Labyrinth PuzzleSource: http://xkcd.com/246/

Only 50 more years to retirement

The past couple of days have been challenging for me at work. It has been somewhat pathetic to realize that the biggest threat to my job security right now is my own incompetence. So in that spirit, here's a little news story that will either make you feel better about yourself, or if you're like me, feel some empathy for this schmuck of a buffoon of a boob:

"A man in Grand Rapids, Mich., who hid knives in his pants to try to steal them from a store tripped while fleeing and stabbed himself in the abdomen, police said."

-- Reported in the Express on Jan 9, 2008

In this house, everyone's a comic

Quotes of the Week:

"I'm gonna get you drunk in my hump. My lovely lady humps. Check it out, girl!" -- My niece, singing her rendition of "My Humps" while wriggling and slapping her diapered butt in my face. Kids these days are scary.

"Close, but no potatoes." -- My sister, while trying to fit two puzzle pieces together.

Brother-in-law: "Would you be able to tell that you were kissing a chimp while blindfolded?"
Sister: "You mean, would I be able to tell the difference between you and a chimp? No."
Zing!

Earlier tonight while we were all sitting in the dining room together, the phone rang, and I was volunteered to retrieve the phone and answer it. I hate answering any phone other than my cell phone because I know it is NEVER for me. In fact, calls to my cell phone often aren't for me either.

The conversation went as follows:

Me: "Hello?"
Caller: "Hi, how are you?"

I hate it when people either don't identify themselves immediately and just assume that a) they know who you are; or b) you know who they are.

Me: "Ah... Good."
Caller: "Wonderful! Is your mommy home?"

Whoa. Who the hell was this creepy person and why was he cooing at me?

Me: "Uh... I... my.... who is this?"

I walked back into the dining room.

Caller: "It's Ebby!"
Me: "Ebby?"
Caller: "Ebby!"

I shot desperate looks at both my sister and Nathaniel. Thankfully, there was a look of recognition from both of them. I practically threw the phone at Nathaniel, I was so anxious to get rid of it. Apparently, Ebby thought I was Ella (who is five years old).

That might be the last time I answer that phone. Ever.